Julie tells Michael she's an ESL teacher, and they share a laugh about how he thought she meant ESP at first. Julie appreciatively THs that Michael doesn't act like a boss. "If I had a boss like that we'd never get anything done." Perhaps she has ESP after all. Back at the pool table, Jim quietly asks Michael what he thinks of her. Michael's like, yeah, she's nice, until he suddenly gets that he's been set up, and his jaw drops. And then we see him in the parking lot, opening the back of his car and trading his tie for a Kangol hat. "Apparently, Michael Scott is on a date," he announces to us. "And that? That, my friend, changes everything." Of course it does.
After the ads, Michael struts back in, steals a pool cue, and sends a ball flying off the table. Jim and Pam pull him aside and ask if he's okay. "Hi, I'm Date Mike," Michael THs in a fakely deep (and deeply fake) voice. "Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Then he either winks or temporarily loses motor control on one side of his face. As he starts twirling his pool cue, Jim asks Pam, "You want to just make a run for it?" "Maybe," she says seriously. Then up comes Kevin to cry at her chest some more.
Andy and Erin spot Ryan and Kelly playing DDR together. They want to take a turn of their own, but don't want to give themselves away. So Andy tells her to go play the racing game and then they'll switch. I'd say he could be a gentleman and give her some tokens, but he might as well hike her skirt up and shtup her on the game's railing if he's going to do that.
Dwight and Isabel are walking through the bar while he asks her potential-mommy questions, all of which she answers both gamely and correctly. He doesn't realize that Angela's following them until Isabel walks ahead and Dwight stops, only to see Angela there. He flinches and lets out a bleeped, pixilated curse. Dwight THs the tale of the tape, which gives Isabel the advantage in height, birthing hips, and remaining childbearing years. But alas, "Legal obligation: advantage Angela."
Michael tries to show off by tying a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue, and of course nearly chokes to death. Not that this changes anything. He THs about his unfair advantage: "I watch reality dating shows like a hawk."
Phyllis asks Andy and Erin, "Hey, you two having fun?" as she and Bob stroll by. Andy freaks out about the drama. "I don't want a drama," he drama-queens dramatically with a drama-filled drama.