The Office

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Scott vs. Schrute

Downstairs, Michael gives his sales team the lowdown on Ed's Tires, and since the strategy involves affecting a distrust of women, Ryan's taking this one on. They do the "morning cheer," which is a bastardized version of the "U-G-L-Y" cheer from Wildcats. Yes, I'm embarrassed to know that, but not as embarrassed as Pam. "I'm here," she THs afterwards. "I'm part of this now."

Dwight enters Charles' office, and after insisting Dwight sit, Charles gets to the point. He wants to make sure Dwight is happy, because he's been impressed with his work ethic and wants to give him more responsibility. He even invites him out for a drink this week. Deeply moved, Dwight stands and shakes Charles' hand. "It's firm," he intones. Whether he's referring to the plans or the handshake, it's equally creepy.

Michael's on the phone to Dwight, trying to get DM's bid for Ed's Tires so they can undercut. But Dwight says something has "come up." After a brief detour about whether Mose fell down the well, Dwight obliquely whispers about someone who's torn between a "personal hero" and a "cool new guy." A Will Smith type, if you will. Dwight has Michael's full attention. Michael seems to get it. "So is this for a movie that you're writing?" he asks. From the poker table, having heard only Michael's side of the conversation, Pam holds up a big note that says, "He's talking About You!" Michael shakes his head, and Ryan emphatically taps the note. Finally Michael gets it, and gives Dwight his answer: "I would say the old boss has always been good to Dwight, and he was there first, so he has dibs. You respect dibs, don't you?" "I'm not a barbarian," Dwight says. So they'll meet again soon, at the usual place. But first, Michael has a question. "Is the cool new guy Charles?" Dwight won't say. "Is it Stanley?"

Jim parks his butt on Andy's desk and says he doesn't think he can dump Pam, because he's so emotionally needy. So Andy offers to fill that role for Jim. "Let me be your traveling pants," he offers. Sometimes I wonder if there's someone on the writing staff whose job is to translate ordinary comments into Andy-ese.

Michael meets Dwight down by the dumpsters again, and the first thing he notices is the shirt. The second is that Dwight is crying. Then Charles appears, and Michael freaks out, thinking he set them both up. But Charles says that Dwight came to him, saying that Michael has been "pestering" him for company info. Michael doesn't think Dwight would -- but Dwight would. And did. He even says he's okay with the shirt sleeves now. Charles tells Michael to knock it off, and asks if he understands. Michael: "I understand... nothing!" How true that is.

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The Office

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