The Office
The Office

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: A- | 1410 USERS: C+
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Initiation

Pretzel line. Michael orders a sweet pretzel with all of eighteen different toppings, none of which is flax, or soy, or spirulina, or wheatgrass, or any of the things Michael should be consuming in the middle of the day.

Barn. Dwight orders Ryan to sit down in an old-fashioned wheelchair, which he does, very reluctantly. A figure goes flying past behind them. Ryan asks who it is. Dwight tries to put him off with some kind of ceremonious crap, but Ryan asks, "Is it your cousin Mose?" Dwight curtly says it is. Dwight then interviews that Mose (Michael Schur) is his cousin; they live together on the farm: "He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today, in which case I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore." So...I have to root against the Dwight/Ryan union, because I don't think that leaving Mose alone is really in the best interests of the community. Back in the barn, Dwight quizzes Ryan about the greatest danger facing the company, the cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide, and what the Dharma Initiative is. Ryan scores poorly.

Scranton branch. In the break room, Kelly worries about Ryan being gone so long with Dwight. Angela says that Ryan will be fine with Dwight. Kelly says that Dwight is weird. Angela disagrees. Kelly: "He's a freak." Angela: "YOU'RE a freak!" Girls, girls! You're both right!

Barn. Dwight's final question: "What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?" Ryan guesses loneliness, or maybe women. Dwight takes a little while before saying that Michael isn't afraid of anything: "Also, I would have accepted 'snakes.'" Hee. Dwight starts rambling on about fear, and how you have to vanquish it -- wrestle it to the ground, even -- before you can sell. He goes to a stereo to turn on Carmina Burana, which cues Mose to run out -- the word "FEAR" written across his shirt in red electrical tape -- and plant his feet, so ready to take Ryan on. But Ryan's had enough. Dwight decides to skip the wrestling and head straight for Ryan getting into a coffin they just happen to have there, in the barn, but Ryan's not down with that either, and stomps out. Mose: "Bye, Ryan." To Dwight: "He seemed nice." So...at some point between now and the launch of the bed & breakfast, Mose went from being a (basically) normal guy with an unfortunate beard to some kind of backwoods manchild. Okay.

The Office

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