The Office
Initiation

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Initiation

The episode opens with Dwight and Ryan at their desks, the former trying to stump the latter with some very careworn riddles. The one he starts with -- "Two coins add up to fifteen cents, and one of them is not a nickel" -- is so elderly that it's already been a B-story on Scrubs (though the Scrubs version was thirty cents. Same diff). Anyway: we can't say for sure that Ryan is more clever with riddles than Dwight; certainly, they are evenly matched.

After the credits, Jan's meeting with Michael in his office, asking what he did the previous day. Michael says he didn't do anything, and asks how her day was. Flintily, Jan tells him she wasn't making small talk, so Michael spits that he worked, and then he went home to his condo, and Carole came over, and they had sex. Michael then interviews, "Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base." I'm not convinced he's gotten that much further with Carole, frankly.

On her way out, Jan puts on a bright face as she stops at Pam's desk, giving her an hour-by-hour log and asking her to keep track of what Michael does all day. Pam interviews that Jan always treated Michael like a ten-year-old, but that lately, it's been more like he's five. Well, that stands to reason: a ten-year-old can be left in the house alone for a short period of time, whereas a five-year-old is still subject to the occasional urinary mishap.

Back at their desks, Dwight checks with Ryan that 's excited for the day ahead. He is. He's even "very" excited. "Extremely" excited is taking it too far, but Dwight bounces back: "Just 'very' excited? That's cool." Ryan interviews that, having spent a year at Dunder Mifflin, he needs to commit or leave, so in order to decide which it's going to be, he's going to get some guidance on his first sales call from Dwight, the company's top salesman. Lesson #1 would seem to be "It doesn't matter how weird you are: paper sells itself." For his part, Dwight interviews that he's very excited, since Ryan hasn't made a sale yet -- but even more importantly, "he hasn't made an ally yet." He adds, "Is he gonna be a slacker, loser, wise-ass like Jim was, or is he gonna join the Dwight Army Of Champions?" I hope it's the latter, if for no other reason than so we can see the uniforms.

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