The Office

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To the Vickers Go the Spoils

In a meeting of the inner circle (which also includes Darryl and Gabe), Deangelo floats a couple of lame ideas before the meeting devolves into a little office basketball. Oh, I didn't notice that Andy's not in there. But Andy sure as hell did.

Deangelo gives Ryan some compliments, which leads to Ryan giving a TH about how since his valuable qualities are so intangible (read: nonexistent), "I... strongly implied that I'm Kelly's supervisor. It's not even that much of a stretch. She pretty much does whatever I say." Kelly's not happy to hear about this, and calls Ryan on his habit lying for no reason, but is pretty won over when he says he'd also die for her. Because of how she doesn't realize that's a lie. Suddenly he's yells at her boss-like when Deangelo enters the annex, and she actually plays along. "Glad he's not my boss," Deangelo chuckles. "You're the best, thank you," Ryan whispers to Kelly when he's gone, which, to be fair, is the nicest we've ever seen him be to her.

Dwight's reading a newspaper and drinking a soda in the break room. Deangelo mentions that his cousin makes his own soda, and Dwight mocks, "Congratulations on your one cousin! I have seventy, each one better than the last." Damn, that is a schitload of Schrutes. Deangelo asks him what's going on, and Dwight says he's just not a suck-up and only wants to do his job. But Deangelo insists on winning him over. I guess if they can't make Deangelo consistent, how are they going to make Dwight's relationship with him consistent?

The inner circle is mocking resumes of prospective assistants in the conference when Deangelo gets sidetracked by one candidate's mention of juggling. Deangelo says he used to do a motivational juggling routine, and looks ready to demonstrate. But his gear isn't in his trunk, and when Andy tosses over his own set from his desk (which, of course), Deangelo demurs, saying he never touches another man's "juggling instruments." So, with his music playing on the boom box ("Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence, because Will Arnett isn't showing up with "The Final Countdown" for a couple more weeks), he goes into his juggling routine -- but without balls. It would really be something if there were anything to juggle. He even bounces the imaginary balls off Phyllis's face for a few seconds. At the end, people applaud politely, because what else are they going to do?

Later, in the break room, Pam does the same thing, but with imaginary eggs and bowling balls. Then with one hand, then no hands, following the imaginary items with her eyes. "What could he possibly stand to gain from a fake juggling routine?" Jim asks her. "What could he possibly stand to gain from a real juggling routine?" Pam returns. She wonders why Jim's defending him, and Angela puts in that Deangelo's a sexist. Andy says he'd be able to tell if that were the case, having taken a lot of women's studies course s a Cornell and being the author of a companion piece to The Vagina Monologues called The Penis Apologies. Angela points out that Deangelo doesn't talk to any of the female department heads in the office. Angela has convinced Andy, but Jim is less thrilled about Pam's suggestion to bring it up with the boss. "And if he doesn't listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye. Snip-snip. Am I right, girls?" Andy adds.

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The Office

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