In Angela's hospital room, there's a whole bit about the weight of the baby, which apparently Angela announced was five pounds but the senator says is more like nine. Angela blames it on the drugs. "I felt like I was at a James Taylor concert." Oscar presents the present he brought (all but tipping us a wink when the senator compliments the gift-wrapping) and it turns out to be a preemie onesie. In a TH, Oscar informs us that the baby is obviously not premature, so Angela was lying about the conception date. "And her husband's gay. I don't even know which thread to follow." Well, clearly the "mind your own business" thread has been ruled out.
During a quiet moment in the office, Jim abruptly stands up and announces that he actually took most of last week off, trying to play it like a joke. But of course nobody laughs but Dwight. Stanley and Darryl both yell at Jim, and Darryl reminds Andy that he said he drove Jim to the courthouse. Andy, horrified at being hung out to dry, sticks to his story, but Dwight's already grabbing a box to help Jim clear out his desk. "I always thought I was going to defeat you somehow, but you've defeated yourself." Andy tells Dwight to quit it, and as far as Jim's punishment, he delivers, in front of the whole office, a gentle bitch-slap to Jim's cheek. Disgusted, Dwight throws down the box he was packing. Out in the parking lot, he leaves what must be the latest of many voice mails for Gabe. He tells us he's going to "let the little stickler do what he does best: stickle." That would be even funnier if my spell check had any problem whatsoever with the word "stickle."
With the senator out of the room, Oscar finally calls Angela out: "The only premature baby in this room is the baby that this baby ate." Finally Angela confesses that the baby was conceived nine months ago, before her wedding, after a viewing of Thor and chicken marsala with too much wine in it. Oh, I think we've all been there. Angela swears Oscar to secrecy. Unfortunately, we already know she's not much for swearing.
Dwight shows up at the hospital looking for Gabe, but first he finds Oscar in the waiting area, who manages to sit on the big secret for almost a full minute before blabbing to Dwight that Angela's baby was conceived a month before her wedding. Dwight seems to actually care, which is amazing, until you realize that he cares a lot, which suddenly makes it less amazing because, well, you know.