The Dunder Mifflin-Scranton warehouse has been transformed into a haunted house! Oooo! The doors slide open, and Michael (dressed, inappropriately enough, as one of the "Dick in a Box" guys) welcomes a bunch of kids, who are riding on a pallet truck steered by Darryl. Jim, with the word "BO-OK" inked on his face for some reason, talking-heads that it's a perfect location for a haunted house: "Legend has it on this very site, there used to be a productive paper company."
Darryl gets to one of the scenes and kind of has to improvise when Kevin, as a creepy security guard, cuts some fake intestines out of Erin, dressed as Princess Fiona, attended by Angela as a black widow and Kelly as Leeloo from The Fifth Element -- the latter two of whom Darryl misidentifies as an octopus and a burn victim, respectively. When they complain, he says, "Label yourselves or take what you get." Creed's all made up like Grandpa Munster, waving that unit of blood he stole like a year ago (holy God, it's nearly empty now, WTF), while a tall-haired Ryan tells him, "That's really not the trend in vampires right now." And I just figured out who Ryan's supposed to be, although Darryl thinks they're "an old man and a goth dude," and then mistakes Meredith for "the old crone from Drag Me to Hell." "I'm a hobo," Meredith protests. "I asked for a list," says Darryl. Dwight rides in on a bicycle as Jigsaw, and finally we learn what Jim is: "The popular social networking site known as 'BookFace.'" Oh, he's not even trying any more. Darryl's about to proceed to the candy when Michael kicks out a chair in front of them and pretends to die of hanging. The children are traumatized, of course. Then, still dangling there, he opens his eyes and gives a lecture warning against suicide. "Why is Christmas the only holiday that can have a message?" he THs. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Darryl demands. Michael answers a question with a question: "Who wants candy?" Nobody has a question to answer that question.
Michael hangs out in Jim's office, droning on about his plans for the weekend when Erin pops in to say they're both expected at an upcoming sales call in an hour, even though it was supposed to be only Jim. Michael encourages Jim to call and clear it up, which is of course nothing but a ploy to make Jim feel inadequate upon hearing that the client still wants Michael. Michael eats it up, and Jim whining-heads about it. Before leaving, Michael is all in Jim's business, even trying to get him to change watches, which Jim refuses. "He's trying to micro-co-manage me," Jim floundering-heads.