The Office

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Koi Pond Wandering

Andy and Pam are out making cold calls, since they're the two people with the lowest sales for the quarter. Andy pumps a triumphant fist. This is amazing: it means Ryan made a sale!

Jim and Michael return to the office, and for some reason. Michael is drenched. He claims they were caught in a flash-rain, and when Angela asks why Jim is dry, Jim claims, "I... outran it." Michael squishes on into his office to change his suit.

Andy makes small talk with a receptionist, claiming he and Pam are a dynamic duo. "Or trio," he amends, indicating her expanding belly. When she mistakenly assumes Andy's the father, Pam denies it a little too forcefully and laughs a little too long, so that even Andy notices.

Michael's dry but still barefoot, padding through the office when Erin tells him that the custodian at the client's office found his keys in the koi pond. "Did you say koi pond?" Stanley asks as Michael all but dives into his office. Oops, don't say "dive."

Next thing you know, Erin is besieged by curious people at Reception who want to know what went on. Michael tries to put them off over her speakerphone from his office, and when Oscar asks Jim if Michael fell into a koi pond, Jim will only say, "Mmmm, it's like Michael says. It was... um... some-something else." Finally Michael cracks, and everyone else cracks up. Freed from his vow of silence, Jim THs, "Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in. It was how long it took him to get out."

Pam and Andy are now in the prospect's office, and he makes the same mistake the receptionist did regarding their relationship. Andy tries to react like Pam did earlier, but takes it way overboard, claiming he dates models, and then adding that Pam's carrying his surrogate to maintain his girlfriend's figure. "We put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like." Clearly Andy has not seen the cover of Shape this month.

On the way out, Pam yells at Andy for being way meaner than she was, and for blowing the sale. "Let me tell you something," Andy retorts. "I was never gonna make that sale." Can't argue with that.

Erin tells Michael that David Wallace called. "He heard you made a big splash at the meeting, oh my God, that was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it, it was Kevin and Meredith that put me up to it." Stanley advises Michael not to listen to them: "You just ignore their carping." Michael takes the encouragement as sincere until Dwight whispers, "A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay." Creed chimes in, weakly asking if he found Nemo. Michael tries to come back with another Pixar movie, Toy Story, which is not only a total non sequitur but allows Oscar to lob back, "Don't you mean 'Koi Story'?" Phyllis asks if he floundered. "I'm not usually the butt of the joke," Michael THs from his office. "I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. He'd have to put on my suit and it'd be too short. And he'd look...dammit, he'd still look good." Unless he wrote BO-OK on his face again.

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The Office

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