We come back from ads with the two of them still grappling. Dwight fakes an injury to his fresh appendix scar, only to surprise-attack Jim. Meanwhile, in the boardroom, Nellie and Kathy are stressing about Dwight's absence while Packer offers to step in to take Dwight's place. "I got the info down backwards, forwards, and doggystyle," he boasts. Nellie calls the room to order and introduces Packer as the new Vice President of Saber Retail on the spot. Packer turns and dramatically addresses the room: "'Sup?"

Andy's packing up Erin's stuff at reception and the troops in the bullpen notice how upset he is. It turns out that Andy's the last to know. "Thought you checked my Tumblr," Ryan guilts Andy. Pam points out that they can find a new receptionist -- especially with the three-week head start of doing nothing that they've got -- but Andy is still pretty upset. Because he doesn't want just any receptionist, you know. He wants a receptionist as stupid as the missing one.

Dwight makes like he's going to run right through Jim, but tries a Jackie Chan bounce off the wall and lands on the floor instead. Jackie Chan may sue.

Kevin now has Toby and Darryl recording his outgoing voice mail greeting pretending to be hot girls. "I don't know, they might think we're drag queens,' Darryl says. He announces that he and Toby are both quitting, and they do a joint TH in which they both say there are limits. Next thing you know, Kevin is so desperate for them to sell him some cookies that he's singing and dancing for them, and when that doesn't work he kisses Meredith. "That's... so good," he says, as Meredith grabs him by his tie. Cool, does this mean they'll be a couple in 58 episodes?

Jim and Dwight's wrestling comes to an awkward, ugly ending. Dwight straightens himself up, makes himself presentable (actually, the fight has made his hair look better than ever), and enters the boardroom just in time to hear Robert publicly blaming Packer for "utterly botching" the execution of Jo's "brilliant" idea for the Sabre store. Packer tries to throw Dwight under this unstoppable bus, but Robert pretends not to buy it. "He clearly had the infinite wisdom to stay as far away from this clown show as possible." Nellie steps in and tells Robert not to blame Packer... but his upbringing and culture. "Fire the employee, yes, but not the man. You may not cancel his soul." Robert: "That was never on the table." Really? That's a pity. Without anyone having noticed his entrance, Dwight sees Robert fire Packer and then trudges back to the hallway, where Jim's still sitting on the floor. Dwight reaches a hand down to Jim, hauls him to his feet, and marches on sadly to the elevator. How lucky for both of them that all it took to stop the massive grinding gears that were destined to pulverize Dwight was keeping him out of the boardroom. Jim just smiles at Dwight's back, grinning about the good deed he did today and knowing that's the most gratitude Dwight's ever going to show him. Yep, thanks a lump, Jim. Now if you could just do that again when Dwight tries to leave for that spinoff.