Everyone else is assuming this is all Meredith's fault, including Meredith, even as Pam points out they shouldn't jump to conclusions. Erin quickly confirms that Angela, Stanley, Pam, Oscar and others are all infested. Dwight returns wearing a full hazmat suit, and learns that so far Phyllis, Kevin, Darryl and Nellie are all lice-free, but since they do not already own their own hazmat suits, he orders them to the warehouse while he stays upstairs to fight the infestation. "If you don't hear from me by lunch, call me. I might want lunch."
Darryl takes charge of the Bug-Free Four on the way to the warehouse, which he still considers his territory somewhat, and alerts them that Val dumped him. He's still pretending to be broken up over it.
Up in the bullpen, Erin physically restrains Stanley from leaving, breaking a pencil off somewhere in his rolls in the process. And Pam does a heated TH where she defensively argues that maybe Meredith got her own lice all on her own. "Fine, I'll tell her it was me," she finally mumbles shamefacedly.
Jim gets dropped off by the limo, nabbing some snacks on the way out, and is thrilled to find out that he's meeting Dr. J. at his private court.
Pam enters the kitchen to confess to Meredith, only to find her already shaving her head. "I think these critters migrated from down south," Meredith says, a comment that's still less horrifying than the fact that she's SHAVING HER LICE-INFESTED HEAD IN THE OFFICE KITCHEN. WHERE FOOD IS. Pam does another TH in which she promises to tell Meredith at the right time. "There's a right way to do this!" she says, looking a little unhinged.
Dwight, still in his hazmat suit, is giving everyone a presentation on lice in the conference room, making it sound as horrible as possible. but Erin says all they need for their hair is mayonnaise. She explains how it suffocates the bugs and is a healthy alternative to chemical shampoos. Oscar gets all locavore-smug about that, but the mood is ruined when Meredith enters, spear bald. She looks like a light bulb with wrinkles. Erin assures everyone that no one else needs to end up that way. "Not that it looks bad, Meredith. It looks awesome. You look like a baby who suddenly aged fifty years. A cute baby, but something suddenly sucked the life force out of it." Where are we on an Erin spinoff, anyway? Pam offers to go out for mayonnaise, and offers to get something special for Meredith, who gratefully requests a pack of Nicorette gum and a pack of Kools.