After Michael submits to a clumsy insurance sales spiel from guest actor Mike Starr, Andy and Dwight get it in their heads that the salesman is in fact a mafia guy, shaking Michael down. Naturally, they are able to get that into Michael's head pretty efficiently as well. Dwight overrides Andy and Michael's intention to give in, but only temporarily. After Michael signs up for a policy he can't afford, Dwight comes up with a fix: tell Michael the salesman's not in the mafia after all. Since we already know that's the case, we're not too worried when Michael calls the salesman back to rudely shoot him down. At least until Michael gets such a big head from his courageous exploit that he's even more obnoxious and self-aggrandizing than ever.
And where are Jim and Pam during this time when their reasonable voices are so desperately needed? They're on their honeymoon, of course, present only as a couple of increasingly annoyed voices on the phone. And the fact that Kevin accidentally got their credit cards cancelled doesn't help.
Michael's giving a presentation to everyone (save Jim and Pam, who are presumably on their honeymoon) about "fundamentals," a word which Michael points out has "mental" right in it, meaning they're mental if they don't have a good time. Toby points out that "fun" is in there, too, which gets him kicked out, which was probably his plan to begin with. Michael moves on to small talk, and after inviting Meredith up for a demonstration that quickly goes south (it involves "upper-deckers"), Michael says he could fill a book with what they don't know about business. "Then do it," Ryan says impatiently.
Cut to Michael in his office, dictating his book into a recorder, which has already outsold the Bible in his mind. "The businessman..." it begins. And ends.
Dude, Mike Starr is in the office! He's parked uncomfortably near reception when Michael walks in and gives Erin a hard time for making room for "Mr. Grotti" on his calendar, forcing the rescheduling of "creative space" and "free play." Michael makes a non-applicable remark about this being how the sausage gets made and invites Mike Starr into the conference room, promising to show him "a finished sausage." Andy watches this transaction dubiously from his desk.
Inside the conference room, Grotti talks to Michael about pride and responsibility and security. Michael's bored with his spiel, and THs that it's insulting for a great salesman to have to listen to a bad salesman. "Like making a good basketball player listen to a bad basketball player."
During Jim's absence, Kevin has been taking advantage of Jim's office, "to fart in." But now it's like his home, only better. "My home sucks."
Grotti is leaving, doing more bad insurance selling and knocking over the coat tree on his way out, as a ham-handed demonstration of this unpredictable world we live in. As Erin picks it up, he takes his leave, and the second he's gone, Andy and Dwight ask Michael what's going on. See, they've already decided that the visitor was a mobster. Looking out the window, Andy confirms that Grotti drives an SUV. Oscar wonders if that makes him a mobster too, but Dwight points out all the facts: "He seems like a mobster." Andy "explains" that the insurance selling is just this guy's front. Michael's not convinced, until he remembers the salesman's talk about warehouse fires, and trucks going off the road, and that Michael was vaguely threatened with testicular cancer. Oscar looks around vainly for support, then talking-heads about how with Jim and Pam gone, there's "not the usual balance between sane and others." "The coalition for reason is extremely weak."