But it's okay, because Michael moves on to the "Best Mom" Dundie, and clearly Jim and Pam think she's got this in the bag. But instead Michael calls up Meredith, who stays out all night with her front door open. Meredith bestows an Adrien-Brody-on-Halle-Berry kiss on Michael and makes her acceptance speech: "I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to be a good mom tonight. WOO!" Dwight calls for a photo of the Best Mom and Best Dad. "Gotta go do this," Jim mutters to Pam. "Why?" she blares back. Fair question.
Next is the "Hottest In The Office" Award. Ryan's half out of his chair when Michael announces that it's going to Danny Cordray (who isn't here because he's too busy doing for cowboy hats on Justified what Jet and Cord only wish they could do on The Amazing Race). Ryan claims to be relieved at not winning this year. "It's so subjective." Next is Stanley for the Diabetes award, and Phyllis's slow burn accelerates. "I have diabetes too," she THs. "You don't see me making a big deal about it." There's always nest year, Mrs. Fletcher.
Deangelo is sticking to the cue cards a little too closely: "They say he's going to be my right-hand man. Ad-lib masturbation joke." He pauses long enough to mutter to Michael about how much he hates this, then presents Dwight the "Promising Assistant Manager" Dundie. Dwight comes up, accepts the award on behalf of the humble trash can, tosses the mic back in the general direction of the hosts, and hurls his Dundie into the aforementioned trash. Not even polite applause follows that.
While Kevin is getting in trouble with the manager for coloring on the cloth tablecloth (using crayons he brought from home), Michael is talking into the microphone about herpes, to the further annoyance of the manager. Then he gives Erin the "Cutest Redhead in the Office" award, causing Meredith to throw her own Dundie at the steps of the dais. Erin takes the microphone and says people are right about the Dundies. "They are magical. But I don't feel it, and I think that's because I'm not with the right person. Gabe, we should break up." She sure has Andy's attention. "I'm not attracted to you... I cringe when you talk...I have to be honest. Right, Pam?"