While everyone gets their cringe on, Gabe for some reason goes up and says how embarrassed and angry he is. "Quarter-life crisis everyone's talking about," he quips, which falls flat. Jim is looking at the camera in open-mouthed horror. Interesting enough for you now, Halpert? Finally Gabe says he's going to go. And Dwight, who's been dropping morning-show-style sound cues on the synthesizer throughout, hits the "crickets" button. Michael ushers Erin off, and she hears Darryl breathe, "Damn, that was cold." That's got to hurt, coming from a guy who once got dumped by text message written by the guy who was after his girlfriend.
Michael presents the "Best Dundies Host" award to Deangelo Vickers. He gets up from his dinner just long enough to grab the statue and tries to get off the stage without a word (while Dwight looks wistful), but they're not letting him off that easy. Deangelo puts on the headphones and bellows into the microphone loud enough to deafen everyone in the entire restaurant while talking about his earlier vomiting. The manager comes and pulls the plug. At last.
Outside, Michael sadly THs what a disappointment his last Dundies was. He was hoping for a big wrap-up like Godfather III, but it was more like Godfather I, "which was very confusing, had maybe three big laughs. Oh, well." Just then everyone approaches him to suggest they keep it going. Even Deangelo. Pam suggests getting ice cream and going back to the office to finish up. Michael thinks that means they liked it. "I've fallen and I can't get up," he creaks. Jim stops him before he can burn up all the goodwill that's going to keep this idea afloat.
Michael, Dwight and Deangelo are riding back together, and they insist that although Deangelo has to go to the bathroom, he can go at the office. On the ride there, the whites of his eyes are turning yellow and his back teeth are floating as Michael says it went pretty well despite "a couple hiccups." "I thought it was the worst Dundies I've ever been to," Dwight says. "Maybe you shoulda won the 'Kind Of A Bitch' award," Michael says, taking it surprisingly well.
When Dwight continues arguing, Michael pulls over (to Deangelo's great distress) to ask what Dwight's problem is. "The jokes are terrible, the venue is bad, the fashion is boring....and next time why don't you pick a cohost that doesn't have microphonophobia?" Deangelo asks how long this is going to take, and says, with surprising discretion, "I've gotta make a decision here." Dwight gets out, and because a camera isn't pointing outside, Deangelo has to remark, "He is in an all-out sprint."