In the break room, several staffers are discussing Michael's financial problems, obviously. Stanley posits that Jan is the one who's been running through all Michael's money. Meredith can't believe that Michael has a second job, to which Oscar adds that he's not even good at his first one. Michael enters at this moment, and when everyone falls silent, Michael guesses that they're talking about Jim and Pam: "Do you think they're having sex?" Pam has to speak up to let him know she's actually in the room, which is when Oscar speaks up to ask Michael if he's having money problems. Pam asks why he has a second job. Michael says he doesn't, and suggests that maybe he's having an affair with Suzanne Somers. That's doubtful -- she's quite wealthy. Pam asks if Jan doesn't have money, and Michael says that he doesn't want to talk about money with her, since it's "unsexy." But he keeps denying that he's having any money problems, anyway, and to prove it, he crumples a dollar bill up very small and then...puts it in his pocket. Everyone's like, "You still have it," and Michael tries to say that it's unusable now. In a vending machine, maybe. Well, almost certainly. The ones at my office won't take my money unless it's crisp enough to peel an apple with.
Darryl finds Kelly and basically tells her to smarten up. He interviews that Kelly only wants to hook up with him when Ryan's there, and that it's gotten so that he gets excited whenever he sees "that little dude." Hee. Kelly says that she just needs to know where "this" is going, and Darryl says that he likes her, but that she "needs to access her uncrazy side." I'm not sure there is an entire side. Half a facet, maybe. He makes to leave, and Kelly snaps off a knee-jerk angry reprisal, but he patiently tells her to think about it. Cut to Kelly, in an interview, calling Darryl the most complicated man she's ever met, saying exactly what he thinks: "What kind of game is that?" Sure, she likes it now, but when he's telling her she's old as shit, she might like it less.
Michael comes into the kitchen, where Creed suggests that Michael declare bankruptcy (and interviews that when Creed Bratton gets into trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider -- there's another name for you trivia buffs). Creed confidently tells Michael that bankruptcy is "nature's do-over." Michael, warming to the idea, says that it sounds like the Witness Protection Program. Creed says, "Exactly!" as Oscar shakes his head, "Not at all." Michael interviews that he's always wanted to go into the Witness Protection Program, and has a typically elaborate and typically childlike idea of how that would work. It involves him being a Lord who raises fancy dogs: "That's a life." It sure is -- in a George Eliot novel.