It's just not Christmas without a Christmas episode of The Office. Sorry about 2007.
Yay, it's an old-school Jim prank! Dwight arrives at the office to find his desk and everything on it gift-wrapped. "Happy holidays, Dwight!" Jim chirps. "But, do not open it until Christmas." He claims it only took him five minutes, being a black belt in gift-wrapping. Dwight's pretty sure he can take it apart in less time than that, but when he drops his briefcase on the desk and his ass in his chair, both collapse. They weren't even in there. Oh, Jim, you wacky monkey.
Phyllis is handing out fezzes. "I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat," Stanley says as he refuses to wear his. Phyllis THs that her first Christmas party as head of the party planning committee has a Nights in Morocco theme. Not your grandmother's Christmas party, she says. "Unless of course she's from Morocco, in which case it's very accurate."
The bullpen is draped with all manner of exotic fabrics as Michael tells Phyllis this will be "the best Christmas party ever." Angela is stung not only by overhearing this, but by Phyllis highhandedly sweeping all of the non-Moroccan figures in Angela's nativity scene into her drawer, and then ordering her to get rid of the tree. "I don't think it's blackmail" Phyllis THs. "Angela just does what I ask her to do so I won't tell everyone that she's cheating on Andy with Dwight. I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter."
Dwight brings a tall double stack of boxed dolls into the office. As he explains in a TH, he researches the hot toy every Christmas, buys them up, and then sells them to desperate and lazy parents at a huge markup. This year it's "Princess Unicorn," a half-princess, half-unicorn girl. He calls the toy pathetic. I call it disturbing. Out in the bullpen, Jim mocks Dwight for his lack of Christmas spirit, and Dwight mocks both parents and Princess Unicorn. Coming out of his office, Michael spots one of the dolls and sings the jingle. Awkward. As usual.
The party has begun. Moroccan music is playing, and people are eating and kicking off their shoes. Michael holds up a cocktail for Meredith: "Equal parts scotch, absinthe, rum, gin, vermouth, triple sec, and two packs of Splenda. I'm calling them 'one of everything.'" Meredith drains it and asks for another.
Jim is flirting with Pam by rubbing an Aladdin lamp and offering her three wishes. She just wishes he'd quit rubbing the lamp, and he calls her stupid for not asking for a hundred more wishes. Charmingly, of course. They're really load-testing the PB&J charm the past few weeks, aren't they?