Anyway, here comes Luke, and Michael tells them all to treat him like his nephew. They give him a warm welcome until they discover that all he brought was a couple of quarts of soy ice cream and bagel chips.
Pam is still feeling guilty about blowing Jim's prank, even after trying to treat him to anything he wants from the vending machine. "I need to make this right," she THs.
In his office, Michael gets a text that turns out to be from the staff down in the parking lot, who are converged around Luke's car. In the back are all the packages he was supposed to overnight and didn't. Andy threateningly tells Michael to make Luke open his car, "or I'm going to do it myself. By calling Triple-A." Meredith's already slim-jimmed the door, and everyone retrieves their materials, complaining that Luke is costing them sales. Oh, and Michael's pants didn't get returned.
Gabe is in Michael's office, talking to Jo on Skype about the situation. Jo tells him, "Lower yourself, Gabe, I don't want to have a conversation with your crotch." Gabe sort of perches on the arm of Michael's chair, which is the most awkward of several awkward options that were open to him. Jo asks what's up with the kid, and Michael explains, "I love him." "How far has it gone?" Jo asks seriously. Michael explains that Luke is his nephew, which doesn't cut much ice with Jo, who has a nephew of her own that doesn't work for her. "You know why? Cause he's a screw-up!" Michael's sticking to his guns, and Jo warns that Michael's accountable for him and has to "cover his ass like tighty-whiteys." "I will cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump," Michael agrees. Jo doesn't like the new saying, and disconnects with a curt, "Deal with it, boys." Which isn't really a strong act-out line, but there it is.
Michael VOs about how he's been working with Luke, and he's had to push him, and then Luke slows down, and then Michael pushes him again. This is during a montage of Michael picking up Luke's slack while Luke fucks around.
Pam is making Kevin tamper with the elevator controls to mess with Dwight. "Just let me take a look at the circus board," Kevin says, pulling it away from the wall. "Dwight is about to get so Pammed," she says, earning a nation of eye-rolls. Then she actually gets in the elevator with Dwight, I guess so she can record this on her phone for Jim. The prank seems to be going okay, until the elevator gets stuck. Dwight panics, ordering Pam to pry the doors open. He's already peeing in the corner. "I've got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder and we have to establish a pee corner!" This is already scarier than the previews I've seen for Devil.