The Office

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Meet the New Boss

Where Pam pitches her idea: smaller and smaller strippers jumping out of smaller and smaller cakes, until the smallest stripper is left holding a cupcake. Meanwhile, out in the bullpen, Charles asks Phyllis what PPC is. Phyllis tells him, "They spend hours planning parties," she adds. Oh, Phyllis. So Charles bursts into the meeting to ask what's going on. Michael defends the use of company time for this, and points out Jim's great party idea as an example. Jim doesn't want to share, but Charles reads over Jim's shoulder and asks him, "What's a two-way petting zoo?" An ashamed Jim explains. It's exactly what you think it is. It goes downhill from there, to the point where Charles excuses everyone else and tells Michael he's dissolving the committee. Michael tries to pull seniority, and when that doesn't work, he charges back out to the bullpen and announces that he's going to New York to talk to Wallace, and when he does, Charles is in big, big trouble. "Do you even know how paper is made?" he demands, getting choked up. Okay, Michael, if you're going to go, then go already. Instead he talks about the difference between making steel and making paper, specifically how if you put paper in a furnace, "you RUIN IT!" And then he storms out, sliding one of the reception couches into the middle of the floor. So you know he's extra-super upset. That's so infantile it isn't even funny.

Jim knocks on the conference room door to tell Charles that he thinks they got off on the wrong foot, but he wants Charles to know that he's actually really smart, a hard worker, and a great number two. Charles isn't aware of such a position, and Jim gives the whole background of how it was a made-up position for Dwight, and then they gave it to Jim. Which is not the way to impress anyone. Neither does it impress Charles when he corrects the title from "Assistant to the Regional Manager" to "Assistant Regional Manager." Charles asks if this "made-up position" is important to Jim, and Jim simply slinks out. How many wrong feet does he have, anyway?

At Corporate, Michael confronts Wallace coming out of the men's room. "So is this the meeting you've been in all day?" he accuses. Cut to Wallace's office, where he's taking Wallace to task for all the sacrifices he's made. Wallace braces himself for another tirade about Holly, but Michael kind of goes off the rails by ranting, "I've put having a family on hold, and I've never gone hang-gliding, and I've never driven my car to the top of Mount Washington."

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The Office

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