The Office

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
New Leads

Kelly and Oscar abruptly stop talking about something in the kitchen when Jim comes in. Jim says he can't wait for the day to be over, with all the drama. "What drama?" Kelly says coldly. "Between us and you guys." Jim clarifies uncomfortably "It's so unnecessary, right?" Kelly agrees, to Jim's relief, until she adds, "If the salesmen weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck-up losers, then this day wouldn't be so bad. You ever think of that?" Oscar looks like he wouldn't have said that out loud, but not because he doesn't agree. Rather than beating a retreat, Jim pulls out his cell phone to show off some new baby pictures, which only earns their contempt. "She's wearing a onesie?" he tries. That almost worked.

When Jim calls together Stanley, Andy, and Phyllis in the break room, they're wanting to stand firm, but Jim makes the point that they started it. Phyllis cares so little that she's ready to send their jobs to India. "Can we at least all agree this is uncomfortable and maybe heading for something bad?" Jim presses. They do, unanimously. "All those opposed?" Andy says. "I don't think we need opposed," Jim says.

Michael says Dwight has changed, and Dwight agrees that he regrets not assistant-managing someone else when he had the chance. "I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs." Michael, hurt, regrets all the time he spent watching kung fu movies with Dwight instead of being at bars, finding his soul mate, and having babies. "Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars!" Dwight says. Michael says that's his wife he's talking about. "Your made-up wife who doesn't exist?" Dwight taunts. They start throwing trash at each other. Although it's not as mature or cool-looking as I just made it sound.

Back in the break room, Stanley is shooting down the idea of sharing part of their new commissions with the sales staff, calling it a dangerous precedent. Jim decides to text Pam for ideas, while Andy does the same with Erin. Pam responds that they could give the non-sales staff iPods. "If they don't have an iPod by now, they really don't want one," Phyllis points out. So Jim re-raises the idea of cash. They all agree except Andy, who just got a text back from Erin reading, "People love shells from faraway beaches." At least she's thinking outside the box.

Michael picks up a bathroom sink to hit Dwight with, and ends up soaking his pants from the water that was collected inside. That takes the fight out of both of them as they realize they'll never find the leads. Dwight sits down next to Michael on the edge of a bathtub and marvels at the scope. "No other animal on earth could do this. Maybe beavers. But not like this." I just hope Dwight finds a way to use this experience in his next iteration of Recyclops.

Back at the office, the rest of the sales staff has invited everyone else into the conference room for snacks and an apology. And that seems to smooth things right over, before they've even brought up the commission sharing. "Well, you better be happy," says Stanley, coming in late. "Taking two percent of our--" Jim interrupts that he forgot two percent milk for the coffee. "Yeah, treats, Stanley," Phyllis says quickly. "They've accepted our simple offer of treats only, nothing more." Stanley is suddenly happy that everyone's back together.

Michael and Dwight are still at the dump, wasting time and bonding. When they return to the office, just as everyone else is leaving for the day, there's a big purple beanbag tied to the roof of Michael's car. The staff members wonder if they're this excited because they found the leads, and Phyllis says she's not going to sit in a disgusting chair from the dump. "Damn right you're not, because it's for me and Michael only!" Dwight whoops, and they high-five.

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The Office




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