At the bar, Michael and Dwight mock Jim's future married life.

Pam drives Andy to the hospital, and they're sniping at each other. He complains that every bump hurts his ballsack even more, and Pam reminds him that the splits weren't her idea. Andy claims he was trying to "liven things up, doing your job." Pam takes exception to that, but Andy says it's also to make sure everyone has a great time. So she swerves to hurt him more. Seriously, don't fuck with the Beesly.

Michael stands Dwight's hotel room, contemplating the sock on the doorknob. Back down the hall he goes.

Next morning, Andy wakes up on the floor of Pam's room, camera-gloating that he got to spend the night with the bride, but she stepped on his hand going to the bathroom. If only she wore shoes to bed. "Did I dream that you were crying through the night?" she asks him. Not exactly.

A guy comes in to the hotel vending machine room and catches Michael with his pants down. Okay, actually they're up, because Michael is pressing them on the ice machine. At least he's a boxers man.

Kevin presents himself at the front desk, wondering where the shoes he left in the hall last night are gone. The manager informs him that they're gone. They smelled so bad they were destroyed. "It became a safety issue, sir," he says officiously. Kevin is now shoeless for the duration, but the clerk placates him with a complimentary breakfast. It's like she's known him for years.

Dwight and a hot bridesmaid come out of his room after what was clearly a night of sexytime. What's even stranger is that she's clearly smitten with him. Michael comes in, bitching about how long he's been waiting and the condition of the room. "Hadn't noticed. Too busy knocking boots," Dwight smugs. It may be time to reconsider the three wolf moon t-shirt.

At breakfast, Michael is lying about his own night, having invented a hook-up of his own, from Europe. Please let it not have been Meemaw. Michael is shocked that Dwight isn't interested in Pam's best friend. That right there would be enough for Michael to date her. "You could double-date," he projects. "Swap, maybe." Dwight suggest Michael ask her out then. "I already have a European girlfriend," Michael snaps and storms off.