It's the big wedding episode, and it's huge in every way. Everyone, but everyone, is coming up to Niagara Falls for the weekend, and rule number one is to not say anything about Pam's pregnancy, since her uptight grandma still doesn't know. Of course you know it's going to come out, but the surprise is that it's Jim who spills the beans. And that's just the first of many disasters. Andy suffers a horrific dancing injury and has to have Pam take him and his torn scrotum to the hospital; Dwight loves and leaves Pam's best friend; Pam's dad shows up with a blonde young thing, embittering her mom; Jim's brothers are themselves; Kevin makes the scene with a new toupee and Kleenex boxes on his feet; Angela is herself; and Pam tears her veil, the one thing she was counting on to be perfect. It all culminates when the bridal party and the Dunder Mifflin staff decide it'll be hilarious to turn the ceremony into that YouTube video with the dancing up the aisles. But Pam and Jim are even fine with that, because they already got married, secretly, alone, on a boat at the falls. They had their perfect wedding moment, despite everything, despite everybody. Let's hear it for Plan C.
Of course, when Pam finds out that Michael had sex with her mom, she is going to shit.
Jim and Pam make a request of the bullpen in general -- with her pregnancy, could everyone please stop being so stinky in their various ways? Although they're just slightly more polite than that. In a talking-head shot, Dwight's actually kind of impressed: "A three-ounce fetus is calling the shots! That's so bad-ass." Except that back in the bullpen, he's refusing to stop peeling his boiled eggs at his desk, and Meredith won't give up her afternoon cigar, either. "I guess it's just the end of courtesy in the workplace," Pam THs, saying it just dorkily enough to not come off completely obnoxious. Later, Dwight eats his egg at Pam, and she retaliates by throwing up in her wastebasket right in front of him. This triggers a chain reaction of vomiting that spreads through the whole office -- except Creed, who continues eating his noodles, and Dwight, who looks around almost abashed. Pam just looks at him and wipes her mouth. Now that's bad-ass. Don't fuck with the Beesly, y'all.
Michael proudly shows off his car to Pam and Jim, which he has decorated with cans and a back windshield reading "GOING TO A WEDDING." "It's just a really important day for me," he says modestly. Jim congratulates him on the occasion.
Everyone in the office is in casual dress as Erin records an outgoing voice mail greeting saying the branch is closed for a "company wedding." Then Jim and Pam are running a meeting of Do's and Don'ts, for the wedding. In addition to the flip chart that shows the don't column includes firecrackers and talking to their families, the most important thing is to not mention Pam's pregnancy, particularly to her "old-fashioned" grandma. Why not just say "Angela-like"? Pam and Jim take off, and Michael tells everyone else not to embarrass him up there. That starts a whole riff between Andy and Dwight about how "What happens in Niagara stays in Niagara," which Michael harshly shuts down, saying this is exactly what he's talking about. "So I will see you there in Viagra Falls."
Michael and Dwight are looking forward to the wedding being a big hook-up destination, and Dwight goes over a creepy little dossier he's compiled on Pam's cousin. Fortunately all he has is that she sold a mountain bike online a couple of years ago. Michael stops being creepy with Dwight and says, "Okay, you're an idiot." He's right, just a little slow.
Michael's Sebring pulls out of the parking lot, with Dwight in the shotgun seat. The cans tied to his bumper pop open and spew foam everywhere, because nobody told Michael you're supposed to use empty cans. In the parking lot, Kevin THs that he's going to be debuting a new image for himself: namely, a toupee. Angela honks at him to get out o t the way. And then honks at him again as she drives by just to emphasize the point that she sucks, I guess.