New York! Michael and Dwight track Ryan to a club called Prerogative. He is obviously surprised to see them. But -- get this -- he's thrilled, too. Even Michael is taken aback. "It's Michael and Dwight," he reminds Ryan. "Whooo!" yells Ryan. "Let's go get a drink!" Whoa, is he high or something?
Back in Scranton, it's a few minutes after nine when everyone wraps up for the day. Except when they reach the parking lot, the gate is shut and locked, and they can't get back into the office to call the security guard. It seems Jim forgot to tell the security guard they were working late, and Pam locked the office door from the inside when they left. Pam explains to us why Dwight has both the master and the spare key with a little story. She once asked Dwight what would happen if he died. Dwight's answer: "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
At Prerogative, Michael is ordering cups of drink garnish, and Dwight thinks Ryan's friend Troy is a hobbit.
The Scranton crew is gathered around the empty security desk. Luckily, Toby has the security guard's home phone number, but nobody can remember his name, which makes it kind of awkward for Jim to call him.
A twitchy Ryan is way too interested in Dwight's beet farm stories, and he's off to the bathroom again, running a finger under his nose. Dwight, alert as always, knows the score: Ryan might have a bladder infection.
In Scranton, Jim gets off the phone with security guard Hank, who has promised to be there in under an hour. The subject of Hank's Christmas tip comes up, and it comes out that Jim never collected for last year's tip. "Who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam?" Andy polls. The results are not encouraging.
Michael chats up a clubgoer with a back tattoo as he tells her his idea for his own back tattoo: "Back to the Future." Which would be kind of dorkily funny, but all Michael sees is the awesome. Anyway, he's struck out. Michael turns to Ryan, calling the place a "sexy preschool." Ryan's all over finding Michael a place to meet older women (or older girls), and after he smashes his beer bottle, they're off.
While Ryan tries to talk to the doorman at another club, Dwight makes friends with the women's basketball team who are standing in line in front of him, Michael, and Troy. So when Ryan comes back to report no entry without chicks, they draft the Amazons, two to a guy. "Don't step on [Troy]," Dwight warns.
It's now Pam's turn to drive down the PB&J couple-stock, as Toby finds a football and Pam, trying to throw a long pass to Andy, promptly beans Meredith.