Jim and Andy wait outside the principal's office. Andy is distracted from the task at hand, wondering who Jamie was talking to. Jim answers, "Not important. Because you're not dating her. Because it's a felony."
Inside the office, the principal tells Jim and Andy that they teach the students that character counts. Andy disagrees: "One of your students is a bitch," he says, and considers taking out a full-page ad in the yearbook with two words. "Good luck," Jim interrupts. Which Jim will also need, to get his partner out of the building without an arrest.
Kelly tries to coach Angela through a call, which -- since it ends with Angela saying "You can take that apology or not" -- ends in another hang-up. "I think he had Tourette's or something!" Angela tells Kelly.
In the press conference, Barbara Allen is still pissed about the watermark, and isn't mollified when Dwight points out that at least the cartoon-animal sex appeared consensual. Barbara wants Michael to resign, thinking he's the head of the company and thus ultimately responsible. And I would be interested to see how this affects Corporate or the other branches, although not enough to cut any of the scenes that made it into the episode. Michael refuses to quit, and he and Barbara start yelling at each other while the Scranton Times guy writes furiously. Finally, Barbara storms out, threatening to call the Better Business Bureau, with Michael threatening in return to call the Ungrateful Beeyotch Hotline. "Did you get all that?" he asks the reporter, who is obviously looking forward to writing not only the human interest story about this scene, but also the obituary that is likely to follow it as a result.
Afterward, in his office, Michael frets about how this is going to blow up from the Scranton Times to Newsweek to CNN to YouTube. Pam assures him that it will all blow over in a week. Michael agrees, but he doesn't want to wait a week. He busts out a video camera, asking Pam, "Do you know what this is for?"
Pam THs that Michael likes Pam to work the camera when he makes his apology videos, for the "woman's touch." Cut to Dwight prepping Michael for the camera, using enough hairspray to punch a hole not only in the ozone above Pennsylvania, but also the earth's mantle below it. He holds the cue cards for the shoot, in which Michael sits in front of an "American flag" (actually four color-printed copy sheets taped crookedly to his window) and uses the phrase "embarrassing watermark boner." He assures the viewers that he is never leaving, no matter what, even as Dwight explains in detail how a SWAT team would extract him. Take two!