The Office
Product Recall

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Product Recall

Afterward, in his office, Michael frets about how this is going to blow up from the Scranton Times to Newsweek to CNN to YouTube. Pam assures him that it will all blow over in a week. Michael agrees, but he doesn't want to wait a week. He busts out a video camera, asking Pam, "Do you know what this is for?"

Pam THs that Michael likes Pam to work the camera when he makes his apology videos, for the "woman's touch." Cut to Dwight prepping Michael for the camera, using enough hairspray to punch a hole not only in the ozone above Pennsylvania, but also the earth's mantle below it. He holds the cue cards for the shoot, in which Michael sits in front of an "American flag" (actually four color-printed copy sheets taped crookedly to his window) and uses the phrase "embarrassing watermark boner." He assures the viewers that he is never leaving, no matter what, even as Dwight explains in detail how a SWAT team would extract him. Take two!

Angela grumps at Kevin for a mistake on a payroll form, and Kevin takes a jab at her for sucking at customer relations. He high-fives Oscar, and when Angela calls them apes, Oscar asks for an apology. "I'm sorry that you're both morons," Angela spits. They take that as a victory.

Michael continues his "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" video. "If I could leave you with one thought, remember: it wasn't me." And if he is fired, he threatens to have the F-word on every copy paper in town. He finishes strong: "You have one day." "That was your best apology video ever," Pam says, with the sincerity of someone who plans to make sure that tape never leaves the building.

Creed takes up a collection for poor fired Debbie Brown's goodbye card, and then pockets the cash and trashes the card. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" he wonders. Because of bad people, Creed. Because of bad people.

On the way back to the office, Jim decides to try to cheer up Andy with the ultimate sacrifice: initiating a little a capella sing-along. Even in his foul mood, Andy can't resist a little "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." And as much as it pains me to say it, the dude actually has good pitch. Have to beer him credit for that.

The tag: Dwight enters the office sporting in a navy-blue suit and man purse, with his hair combed down over his forehead and poking out over his ears. "Hey Pam," he Reception-Leans, tapping his fingers on the counter sneering around at nothing. Pam compliments him on looking nice today. "I look like an idiot," Dwight scoffs. He also says hi to Karen at Jim's desk, who also says he's looking sharp. "Yeah, that's 'cause I'm your boyfriend, Jim Halpert," says Dwight. "Hey, wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse 'cause you're my girlfriend?" Jim, to Karen: "Do you?" Karen: "No." Jim has been ruined for her in all forms, at least for the day. Dwight sits in his chair looking around at everything, making exaggerated sarcastic faces. "Look at that," Jim says amiably. "Spot on." "Uhh...little comment," Dwight sneers." Well, if nothing else, that was a very enlightening look at how Dwight sees Jim.

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The Office

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