Phyllis is at her desk with earbuds in, leaning back with her eyes closed and an expression on her face that's... well, "dreamy" doesn't quite cover it. Pam and Clark TH that she's been listening to the audiobook of Fifty Shades of Grey, and we cut back to Phyllis rocking back and forth in her chair, bumping up against the back of Dwight's as she grinds away. The others debate what to do, with Meredith's solution being, "Just ignore her. Sooner or later she'll finish." Instead, they all go into Andy's office, where Dwight reports to Andy that "Phyllis is masturbating in the office right now as we speak." They explain to Andy what book it is, which Andy declares "Muy caliente." Seeing Andy is going to be no help Dwight stomps out and dumps a bucket of cold water over Phyllis's head. "It's okay, guys, she's no longer horny," he reports. Andy confiscates her iPod. And then we cut to him sitting with it himself, all turned on at his own desk, until he too is doused from off-screen. That is one rugged iPod.

Dwight asks Clark for some relationship advice regarding Esther, the neighboring farm girl he's currently courting, and how after only three dates her dad wants to lease a tractor with him. Clark acts like this is happening to all his friends, and Angela, who has overheard, says she's sure Esther has "kind eyes." It's clear from her TH that she's already written Esther off as some horsey-looking she-rube.

Pam's on the phone to Jim in Philly, and things seem a little awkward between them. She wonders how he ended up having a pitch meeting scheduled with Ryan Howard, of all people, and Jim clarifies that it's the Phillies' first baseman, not their former coworker. Eventually the conversation dies like a plucked flower.

Everyone's gathered around Oscar's computer so they can watch a trailer for some new TV series called The Office: An American Workplace. Even cobbled together from clips of better seasons and featuring Michael Scott, it doesn't look like anything that anyone outside this room would watch. It was obviously made by people who make sitcoms, not documentary trailers. Kevin THs, "This is a documentary? Ohhh, I always thought we were, like, specimens in a human zoo." You know what? Kevin's theory actually makes more sense.

After the initial excitement has died down, Angela's at her desk watching the part of the promo that shows Dwight playing grab-ass with her in the break room, one frame at a time. Pam's focusing on the clip of her and Jim's younger selves having their picnic on the roof that one night. "You fell in love with that hair?" Clark snickers, looking over her shoulder. I always wondered the same thing. "Wasn't so bad," Pam mutters. Andy comes out, all thrilled about having read one of the comments about his banjo playing. Everyone thinks he's being an excitable dork, but I say that finding a positive comment about oneself on an online video site is like winning the lottery.

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