In the kitchen, this nonsense with Jim and Pam has devolved into "The Oldywed Game," with Toby and Kevin and Phyllis having joined Angela and Oscar as the audience-slash-Bob Eubanks. Of course Jim knows all about Pam, and it gets a little awkward when Toby does too. Jim gets up to answer a cell phone call from the business partner Pam still doesn't know he has. "It's not even real yet!" he THs defensively. "And I'm not gonna tell her until it's real." In the meantime, Pam's getting pretty suspicious anyway.

At Andy's instruction, Darryl announces an "optional" meeting to discuss Erin's confidence (read: body). Darryl explains that he's Andy's new Assistant Regional Manager. Andy sold the idea to Darryl as being a "consigliere," figuring Darryl was into The Godfather because he's black. "Wrong! I'm into The Godfather because I'm a cinephile. I like Scarface because I'm black." The Office, now with jokes you could have written yourself! In the meeting, Andy stands in front of the room with Erin telling them about how she needs confidence about her body for her upcoming "news" audition. Jim and Oscar begin wondering what Erin's looks have to do with this. "I will do whatever it takes to get the job." Erin says. "Whatever it takes," Clark whispers excitedly to Pete.

In the break room, it's Nellie, and Dwight, and the meat cleaver, and a cutting board. And a lot of bluffing.

Erin's trying to read some fake news to Darryl and Andy about Hamid Karzai's "dollar days." Darryl wonders about where the story came from, while Andy's more concerned about the length of the pause in her tag. The resulting twenty seconds where nobody's talking are my favorite part of the episode.

Back at their desks, Pam decides to come off a big secret of her own: a guy from her high school ran into her at the mall and hit on her a few weeks ago. "That didn't happen. You would have told me right away," Jim says. Of course Pam's just fishing, trying to keep it light, which is more than Jim deserves at this point. "Between your birth and the last two days. Just tell me." "Give it up, Beesly. You know me too well," Jim scoffs. Keep digging, Tuna.