After they get out of the hot tub, Wallace asks Michael to join him for "Suck-It." Which sounds terrifying, and is only slightly less so when Wallace explains that that's the name for his toy-vacuum idea. Michael? Cannot get out of there fast enough.
He returns to the office with five gallons of orange juice for a toast. He's also retrieved his Sabre drink bottle, with a visible dent on the bottom. I wonder if the thing will even stand up any more After a little TH where he expresses his doubts about people who say getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them (because look at what David Wallace has become), Michael says he wants to propose a toast. He makes a few abortive attempts, none of which the staff accepts as a toast. "Just because you have liquid doesn't make it a toast," Kevin protests. Finally Michael manages, "To us and to Sabre." Everyone drinks. Were you wondering how orange juice would taste in an aluminum vessel? Everyone's faces tell the story. "That is metallicky," Michael pronounces. "Like drinking a battery." Fortunately he's not astute enough to read too much significance into expecting a sweet moment and winding up with a mouthful of bitterness.
The tag is Wallace and kid in their living room. With Teddy on drums, Wallace plays keyboard and raps a jingle for his toy-vac. "Suck It! Suck It! Pull out the nozzle and Suck It!" Teddy brings it home with a smoking drum fill. Not the valedictory we expected for David Wallace, which is what makes it perfect.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.