It's time for Dunder-Mifflin's buyer to show up. It's Sabre (pronounced like the weapon, and not "Sob-Ray" as everyone initially thought). Michael is excited at first, but when he learns that the branch is going to have to make some changes -- the kind of changes you might expect to be made when the place is taken over by grown-ups -- he can't stand it. He gets to complain directly to the new CEO, played by Kathy Bates. She's got a negative amount of time for his whining, so off he goes to pick the brain of his ex-boss, David Wallace. Who is no help, but seeing Wallace unemployed and dissolute puts the fear of God in him, prompting him to go back and play nice.
Also, Jim and Pam are trying to get into a popular day care center, but their hopes end up in the toilet.
So this is the episode that I could have sworn was scheduled for last week, right up until the moment that "Shareholders Meeting" started. I never did figure out what happened there, even after checking a highly reliable inside source. By which I mean Rainn Wilson's Twitter feed.
There's a big box by Reception, and Michael's very excited about it. It's from their new owner, a company Michael refers to as "Sob-ray." "Scissor me!" he tells Erin, and she throws him a pair that he catches wide open, somehow without losing a finger (although Pam looks at us in shocked horror). Michael opens it like an ape and passes out the largesse inside, claiming the scanner for himself. He and Dwight are busy scanning stuff in his office when Erin comes in to say the box is to be set aside for someone named Gabe Lewis, who is expected tomorrow.
For a second I'm thrown by how Ed Helms's hair looks in the opening credits. And then I realize, hey, Ed Helms is in the opening credits! About bloody time.
Michael makes an announcement to the bullpen. "Due to circumstances beyond my control--" "Impulsivity and inattention to detail," Dwight chimes in. Michael explains the situation, and Pam says maybe they can put it back together. "Impossible, he opened it like an ape," Dwight pronounces. But led by Pam and Oscar, they're willing to give it a try. After some Tetris-ing, eventually the whole staff proudly applauds their own achievement in having reassembled a big lumpy Franken-box. Inside of which Michael's cell phone is now ringing. "Erin, scissor me again, please?" "No, don't!" Pam says. Erin does. Michael again fails to lose a finger. Which probably would have ended up in the box anyway.
Next day, Michael leads a round of applause to welcome Gabe, a skinny tall kid from Sob-ray HQ. [The jerk from In the Loop! - Zach] Michael talking heads that he hopes it'll be okay. "Gabe seems tall," he says, and reminisces about his relationship with his old boss, David Wallace. He even shows us a picture of the two of them, with Wallace looking "okay with having a picture taken with me," as Michael says (he doesn't). Back out in the bullpen, Dwight offers Gabe a Scranton hot dog from a giant tray of them, and then becomes a huge distraction looking for a place to put it while Michael makes introductions. Actually just one introduction, referring to Jim as his protégé. Jim corrects Michael in that pleasant but persistent way he's perfected. More clapping. Andy and Erin step forward to perform a little song of welcome, and Gabe pulls out his iPhone to record it for the Sabre website. "Sabre," Michael repeats pointedly, and you can see everyone realize they've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time. The song, based on "Party in the U.S.A." (and thanks to my viewing partner Chao for knowing that) goes fine, except the part where they're totally thrown because the lyrics still include the name "Sob-ray." Gabe stops recording.