While Jim's going over the resumes alone in the conference room, Phyllis comes in to confront him over Dwight's impending promotion. "He and Kelly said, then they pre-fired me." Hee. Jim heads out to the bullpen announce that there hasn't been a decision, and "Dwight is definitely not the boss." Kelly and Dwight are acting like it's already a done deal, and Jim feels like he's going crazy. More than usual, even. Andy backs Jim up, and pointedly asks if there's anyone else in mind. Jim asks for anyone else's opinions. Kevin figures that means him, which means several minutes of Kevin just enjoying the floor. Oscar raises his hand and votes for Darryl. Dwight makes that out to be minorities sticking together. "Kelly's on your side," Oscar says. While Kelly's complaining about being pigeonholed, Andy argues that the new manager should be "lame." Ryan wants an outsider, like "a homeless person." Pam calls Ryan out, and he calls her out right back, without knowing anything about her as usual. "I got away with everything under the last boss and it wasn't good for me at all," Ryan THs. "So I want guidance. I want leadership. But don't just boss me around. Lead me when I'm in the mood to be led."
Meredith makes the case for a "smart, decisive, well-hung man," which Jim shuts down. She mockingly suggests a guy with a small penis in stead, which Andy totally backs her up on. A small penis and a torn scrotum would be even better. Gabe heads through on his way out for good, and Kelly comes over for a hug, which she can't pull off without groaning in disgust. "I'm sorry, you were just a lot bonier than I thought you were gonna be." Gabe protests that he's a terrific hugger. "I've been with a bunch of girls where that's basically all they want to do." And on that eminently believable line, exit Gabe. Andy stands up to boldly announce that he wants the job. "I'm educated, I'm capable, I like all of you, and I wont make any changes." Erin emotionally says she sees it (clearly Andy didn't), and Phyllis backs her up. Phyllis also THs that they're not related, but she'll tell Erin some other day. Jim brings up Darryl, and Angela starts filibustering for no reason, until Toby cuts her off for the same reason as Kevin. Then in comes Darryl's daughter, who runs to Jim while Darryl follows her in. It's all part of a show to get sympathy, but Jim just shakes his head. Darryl herds her out. "'Kay, shush it, this was a mistake, let's go," Darryl whispers. Phyllis calls for a vote, but Jim says it's not a vote. Phyllis asks why the meeting, then. "I don't know, this conversation really got away from me," Jim admits. He calls Toby and Kelly in to finish the meeting to make a recommendation to Jo. And Kevin tries to follow, only to have the conference room door closed in his gormless face..