Kelly asks for a private word with Jo. After getting Gabe to leave the conference room by assuring him that it's not about him, she tells Jo, "As minority executive I think it's my responsibility to let you know that Gabe is gross." She spills all about the Gabe/Erin/Andy triangle, and while Jo's taking that in, she starts getting Dwight's resume in text-message form, one line a t a time. "These are costing me ten cents apiece, you jackass!" she yells through the conference room wall. "I'm roaming!" Dwight looks appropriately chastened.
Creed orders Jordan, "Get me our biggest client on the phone right this instant." Jordan asks Pam who that would be, and Pam tells her to just connect Creed to Pam instead. She takes the call, identifying herself as "the client" and Creed tells Pam he's starting his own company and "looking to poach some chumps. You in?" Pam pretends she is. Considering she scammed herself a job that doesn't exist, becoming the default Creed-wrangler is just karma.
Erin tells Jo there's one more candidate: "He's a burn victim," she warns, and offers to get rid of him, but Jo says to send him in. In walks a man in a dark suit, with bandaged head and hands. Of course it's Dwight under there, pretending to be a French dude named Jacques Souvenir, but unable to stop himself from correcting Jim's reference to his old title as "Assistant to the Regional Manager." Jo announces she wants to talk to Dwight in the next sixty seconds, and he reveals himself. Jim acts incredulous and confused, like he was fooled the whole time. Jo asks what would have happened if she'd hired Jacques Souvenir, and Dwight says he would have "dressed this way every day, legally changed my name, learned French Sign Language, shown up, and been the best damn branch manager you've ever seen." Jo is so impressed she says, "That's fucking crazy. Get out of here." She tells the search committee, "What a nutjob." Yeah, I don't think that's news to them.
Going over the candidates with Jo, Jim says the guy who kept talking about a vacation to the Finger Lakes right after his start date was good. So is Darryl. Jo asks what's wrong with the guy who went to Cornell, and Gabe goes off. "So it's not relevant that he took the receptionist away from you?" Jo asks him. Gabe tries to play it off, but Jo says Gabe's going back to Florida. "That sounds like a promotion!" Gabe says. Jo nods, "It's not." She nominates Kelly as Gabe's replacement. "I'm doing an opposites thing." How Trump-like of her.