Dwight has lashed his pieces together into something vaguely gun-shaped, but since no one else seems to think it's a gun, he crosses that off his list of possible items. Must be a heartbreaker for him.

It's story time in the bullpen, with Phyllis as Santa presiding over the lighting of the tree. Michael can't stand it, and in his office, he angrily turns his Santa jacket inside out to show the white lining and knots a braided extension cord around his waist. He says all he wants is to be Santa. "But when you need my help because I am ruining everything, don't look at me."

Michael comes bursting out of his office, claiming to be Jesus Christ to remind everyone of the true meaning of Christmas. Angela applauds. She's the only one, of course. "Wow, Michael, it must be obvious how wrong this is," Toby says in amazement, which just gets him branded the Antichrist.

Andy asks Phyllis not to tell Erin he's her Secret Santa. Phyllis is only too happy to pin it on Michael.

During the party, Pam awkwardly introduces Oscar to Matt, clumsily trying to forge a relationship based on how much Matt likes the paté Oscar made. "How come the good ones are never straight, right?" "Okay, Pam," Oscar says. "Yes, they're the only two gay guys I know," Pam THs. "But they should be together." Oh, Pam.

Phyllis is handing out gifts, and when Dwight is excited to get another component, Michael drones into the karaoke microphone, "Oh, yes, it's space garbage! Dwight's going to be able to build himself a friend. Deck the halls with crappy gi-ifts..." When it's Stanley's turn and Phyllis says he's been a good boy, Michael points out the part about cheating on is wife. "Adultery's a sin." Stanley opens scented candles. "That's appropriate. A lot of fire where you're going... Going to hell, Stanley." Angela gives that an amen, but Michael can't bother to turn his head to see her open her gift of fabric. "That's fantastic, you can make another dress that goes past your feet." Why can't regular Michael be as funny as angry Michael? Angela wonders if it was Andy, and Michael blurts that Andy had Erin. Jim shuts off the microphone, about five minutes too late, and Michael stomps into his office.