There's a Secretary's Day gathering in the conference room, and Kelly and Jim take turns doing their Kevin/Cookie Monster voices. Jim's is better, but then Mindy Kaling wrote this episode, so she wins. Gabe says to leave it to Mad TV. "Sorry, Gabe, but that show hasn't been on in man-y cook-ies," Jim Cookie-Monsters. Gabe's plan is going swimmingly.
Andy takes a little dais to thank everyone for the party, especially Angela as the chair of the party planning committee. Michael, trying to fix things, pipes up nervously, "I think we can all agree that Angela's not so great." Andy disagrees until Michael uncomfortably orders, "Stop talking!" Andy begins a speech about Erin, who stares up at him dead-eyed, even as he straps on his guitar and harmonica to perform his original composition, "Secretary of Love." Is that a Cabinet-level position? But he doesn't get further than the count-off before Erin throws her cake in his face. Everyone's stunned into silence as Erin hurls accusations at him, and asks whether he slept with anyone else. Everyone's quick to deny it. She storms out, leaving the cake with her photo on it untouched. Gabe THs, "I should probably get involved in this, but I think my energy's better spent on the Cookie Monster issue." At least he's starting to recognize his limitations, even if it's a little late.
Kevin tells Erin he wouldn't have done that to her, and says he's right over there if she needs anything. Pam whispers to Jim in Cookie-Monster mode, "Hey, Erin, you're real delicious. I mean, beautiful." Enter Gabe, who suspends Pam for two days without pay. Jim mildly says he can't do that, so Gabe suspends him too. Slow clap from Dwight, which earns him his own suspension. "C is for suspension!" Kevin gloats triumphantly.
Andy's in Michael's office, but he's not exactly apologetic, telling him his conduct is "Mr. and Mrs. Smith crap." In fact he resents the expectation that he wouldn't have told Erin: "Everyone here knows that I can't and won't keep a secret." Andy hears that. Then there's a TH montage in which Andy goes from making excuses to a double facepalm.
Angela whispers to Erin over the divider. "You want to talk to me, come to my desk," Erin snaps. Angela flounces over and accuses, "You embarrassed me earlier." This devolves into an argument about which of them wants to throw up more thinking about her sleeping with Andy, until Toby steps in to...complain about the fax machine from where he's been standing, right behind Erin, this whole time. Just to let them know he's there, I think, for all the difference that makes.