Packer. Telling another joke. This one involves a nymphomaniac convention. When he uses Phyllis as an example of what an ugly broad might look like, however, Michael takes exception. Afraid to alienate BFF Packer, however, Michael shoves the whole thing off on Kevin. But hey, the final answer is the same -- Michael is putting his foot down, albeit on the wrong neck. "Hostile work environment," he announces. Michael says that Phyllis is a valued part of the family -- "like a grandmother." Phyllis points out that she and Michael are the same age and even went to school together. Heh. Michael lectures about how Kevin "crossed the line" some more. He sends Kevin back to his "corner." "You mean where my desk is?" Kevin asks.
In the wake of this sort-of rescue of Phyllis, Packer gives Michael crap about how corporate "got to" him, but Michael insists in front of the staff that nobody got to him. He says he loves Phyllis. He thinks Phyllis is gorgeous. He kneels down and puts his arms around her from the side. Phyllis looks embarrassed and curious. He pulls her toward him to kiss her on the cheek, and she giggles. She tells him she's not going to report anyone, so he can stop all this. Michael says he's not worried about that. He's not worried about anything. Except one thing. You know what that one thing is? "Gettin' a boner." And he says it with such conspicuous, sing-songy kindness, you know? "Gettin' a boooooner." The same way a normal person would say, "Because you're preeeetty." Only with "boooooner."
"Good work today, everybody," Michael says. And then he says in a TH that they're really a family, and there comes a point when "Daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore." You know...even knowing he's inappropriate, that's just so inappropriate. "I am upper management," Michael says yet again. "And it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to."
Cut to a Pam TH. "He said what?" A bath, Pam. He said a bath.