Credits. "Glug glug," says the water cooler.
Jim is rifling through papers on his desk when Michael emerges from his office. Michael plays it "cool," perching on the desk and straining to casually ask Jim whether he's gotten any emails. Jim doesn't think so. "Check your spam folder," Michael's not-so-hidden agenda advises. Jim indulgently locates the one Michael is looking for -- "Fifty Signs Your Priest Might Be Michael Jackson." Fifty? Really? Wow. One thing you can say for nitwits: they're prolific. Michael watches from the corner of the desk, giggling hysterically as Jim scans the list, until finally, Jim just gives him a "Well done. Topical!" Michael THs that he's "King Of Forwards." Michael continues to stand for all of our worst selves. Awash in good thoughts about how much fun he has sending around hilarious and wonderful jokes that are loved by all, Michael goes on to compare the office to the cast of Friends: "I am Chandler...and Joey...and Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is...Kramer." Hey, Dwight isn't a racist. He's sexually attracted to Indian women!
Speaking of Dwight, now he and Michael are at Dwight's desk, laughing about another sexy, sexy email, as Pam looks dubiously on from reception. Dwight begs Michael to take the link and "forward it around," apparently seeing Michael's email address as a valued stamp of approval that will vault this item into the public consciousness. Michael gives this some serious thought before throwing Dwight a "maybe," which Dwight sucks down like a seal with a slimy little fish. Just then, right behind Michael, we see David Koechner, late of various comedy enterprises, including but not limited to Saturday Night Live. He comes up, seizes the back of Michael's jacket, and doubles it over Michael's head. With Michael still trapped and squirming, Todd Packer (for it is Todd Packer) says, "What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? [frees Michael and points to self with thumbs] This guy!" Somewhere, you know that someone does that unironically, and it makes me cry. As these two fun-loving dudes low-five each other, Stanley looks on like he can't believe he's currently being visited by a bigger tool than Michael. There is assorted dude business, and then Packer turns to Jim and says, "What's up, Halpert? Still queer?" Jim stiffly chooses not to react. Packer and Michael laugh at the hilarity -- hilarity -- of "still queer?" as a total slam on a dude.
Michael THs that he and Packer are "total BFF." That's really something, coming so fast on the heels of a derisive queerness reference. He says that they were salesmen together, and this one time? They met these twins? And Packer told them he and Michael were brothers? And then Packer boned them both! This is where Packer becomes, really, the most irredeemable person in the series (after maybe, eventually, Ryan), because you sense that he takes advantage of Michael's insecurity and desperation on purpose, letting Michael think they're pals while mostly just using him as a sounding board for bad jokes and tales of whoring. It's a masterful reversal, because Michael is the most obvious subject of derision in the ongoing arc of the story, but intentionally exploiting the same weaknesses that everyone else laments all day long makes Packer the closest thing the show has to a flat-out villain. You can hate Michael, but you can't do anything to him.