At the copier, Angela comes up to Dwight and says something about her disciplinarian father. "I can only hope my mate has some of those same qualities," she says pointedly before leaving. Translation: Jake better not leave today without a size-13 Birk-print on his ass.
Michael gives the kids a tour of the office, and ends up getting bogged down in a discussion of their outdated business model, as compared to that of Office Depot. "We have better service than they do!" Dwight hollers from across the floor. Michael becomes so desperate to change the subject that he leads the kids over to meet Creed. Which is like showing them around a slaughterhouse and asking, "Who wants to crawl through the separator?" Creed greets the kids as pleasantly as a TV host, and asks them, "You ever seen a foot with four toes?" Well, Creed knows what kids are into. Michael quickly stops Creed from untying his shoe. "The hair covers it up mostly," Creed protests, as though that makes it better.
Back in the conference room, Michael is sitting on the floor with the kids and claiming he used to be the star of a kids' show. They don't believe him. So Michael dispatches Ryan to go break into his mom's house to get a tape labeled "Fundle Bundle" as well as Michael's guitar and tambourine. "Do you know how to play the tambourine?" he asks Ryan, which makes me wonder for how many years Michael's mom made him take tambourine lessons as a kid.
Over a brief montage and kids hanging with adults in the conference room while everyone enjoys pizza, Michael VOs about how raising kids is so much easier than everybody says. "You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives. They're adults, for God's sake." I would point out to Michael the havoc that becoming a parent wreaks on your social life, but I suspect that area would be a wash for him anyway.
Michael sets up the clip of the old TV show. It's obviously one of those crappy little local kids' shows that used to fill time on Saturday mornings before there were such things as infomercials. You know, a brightly colored set, and hosts with cutesy names in anachronistic costumes, and a few lint-covered cartoons and maybe a "Little Rascals" short or two. And then when it was over you might listen to the Victrola or take the horseless carriage down to the soda fountain for a Sarsparilla. Right, Creed? Anyway, Fundle Bundle, like many shows of this type, also featured hand puppets interviewing regular kids who showed up in the studio for taping. The one on this show is a cat reporter, name of Edward R. Meow. Michael has them fast-forward to the part where Meow is interviewing kids. One of them is apparently a very young Chet Montgomery, whom everyone recognizes as a weatherman on channel 5. "I wanna be on TV!" Chet confidently tells Meow. Everyone marvels about that, and how it came true. Michael shuts them up so they won't miss his bit. Sure enough, the next kid to be interviewed has slicked, side-parted hair and is wearing a suit and tie. Yes, it's miniature Michael Scott. It's a terrifying vision. Meow asks Mini-Michael what he wants to be when he grows up, and Mini-Michael babbles, "I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend." Which explains...this entire series, actually. Meow's puppet face goes slack-thumbed for a minute, before he recovers himself and throws it back to the host. As Michael wonders where the rest of his "performance" is, the kids all ask him how much of that came true. Michael has to admit that none of it did, and decides to get back to work. Everyone looks sad for him, no one more so than Jim and Pam.