Stanley, rather than looking for Erin when Dwight tells him to, instead announces that he's on break, unzips his tri-pack, and pulls a big slice of pizza out of it. Dwight tells some bloggers to stay for Ryan's presentation, promising big things. But in the back room, Ryan's losing his shit, asking his uncle on the phone for a Ritalin prescription and then yelling at Nellie when she tries to talk to him. "Your little man is unraveling," Nellie snaps at Dwight. "Now go and fix it." Ryan's needed fixing for six years, she thinks Dwight's going to do it in one day?
Erin's walking down the sidewalk with one of the old ladies she chased out, explaining, "We don't want our brand associated with death." The old woman turns out to be none other than Georgia Engels, who used to play Georgette Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Betty White has some long coattails, y'all. They end up commiserating over their respective man troubles. You know about Erin with Andy, of course. As for Georgette, her husband is dead.
Dwight and Jim are waiting for Ryan to come out of the bathroom when Jim gets a text from Ryan -- he's going home to see his mom. Nellie comes in demanding to know where Ryan is, and Dwight claims he sent him home. "As brilliant and creative as he is, he is nothing compared to this guy!" Jim, who Dwight is pointing at: "Ahhhh..." While Nellie freaks out, Dwight drags Jim into the next room and begs him to do the presentation. Jim agrees, but only with great reluctance. "Go get into Ryan's costume and check out his notes," Dwight instructs. Costume?
Jim unzips a garment bag and takes out a tiny little shoe. Oh, and apparently there's eyeliner, too. Cut to the darkened store, where Jim awkwardly leaps out into the spotlight, dressed in a too-small white guru-suit and starts reading the cue cards Erin is holding, which of course make no sense. At least not until it gets to the part where Ryan was going to bare his soul, at which point we hear Jim confess to crying the entire time he was at Disney World at age ten while we see Ryan getting on a bus. Then Jim runs down a few of the Pyramid's lackluster features before the big finish, which is where he releases the Pyramid so it appears to be levitating, just before he pirouettes clumsily out of the spotlight. On the floating pyramid, Ryan's image appears, saying, "Sabre. It's time to come home." The lights come up, and nobody is more surprised than Jim at the resulting applause. But Nellie doesn't look happy as she gestures to Dwight with a beckoning finger.