The Office
Test the Store

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
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Retail Therapy
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A Sabre test store has already been set up somewhere in Florida, with fancy displays and design and a cardboard Chuck standup and Dwight in a royal-blue retail uniform shirt. Needless to say, he's pretty excited about this chance to prove himself and lock in the vice presidency with Nellie. Ryan's more worried that he's going to fall off the chair Dwight's supposed to be holding for him while he ties a banner. Erin is "incognito" as someone camping out in line, wearing glasses and a hat and pretending to be a hipster to try to build buzz. Luckily, she tells us it's really her; otherwise we might have been confused. "There's already people camped out behind me!" she says excitedly, pointing out the homeless guys sleeping next to her tent.

Short credits again, and the team does a hero-shot walk into the store, all (except Erin) wearing triangular Pyramid tablet cases strapped to their chests, like Baby Bjorns for nerds, over their uniform shirts. In the back room (whose d├ęcor includes that same "Teamwork" Successories poster that's hung in Scranton for eight years), Nellie gives an inspirational pep talk, which includes lapsing into the harsh cockney accent she had until age 32 and sharing the sad tale of not getting called back after auditioning to be the black Spice Girl. Dwight takes the floor and explains that it's press day, which means bloggers. Luckily he's got a dossier on them, which he hands out while giving the vital info: "Bloggers are gross! Bloggers are obese! Bloggers have halitosis! You're gonna love 'em." I'm going to not take this personally. Ryan stiffly vows that his presentation will make people shit their pants, while Kathy will be the hot girl who talks to bloggers. "Kill me. It was my idea," she asides, which she doesn't really have the hang of yet. Packer's job is to be the sexual predator who goes after teen girls. "I don't see where that gets us, but I'm a team player," Packer says with surprising uncertainty. But he THs that he's just waiting for Dwight to screw up so he can swoop in like a sexual predator. Nellie concludes that she wants to get goose pimples. Dwight: "Speaking of pimples, release the bloggers!"

In Scranton, Pam and Andy walk in at the same time, Andy sporting a black eye so fresh it's still red. There's some extraneous jokes packed in until Kelly (played by the person who wrote this episode, so I have higher hopes than usual lately) blares, "Since the interesting thing happened 'til now, so much time has passed. It's like my life is buffering!" Andy tells everyone the story about how when he and Pam arrived at work, Pam was waylaid by a biker gang, Andy intervened, and after a fight in which some blows were exchanged, the gang left. As he's telling this, the scene of what really happened as captured by a camera in Andy's office window unfolds: a bunch of fifth-grade girls on bicycles rode up and threw pine cones at Pam, and when Andy came over to stop it, one of them socked him in the eye without even getting off her bike. Then they all rode off while Andy stood there crying. But after relating his version of events, which Pam doesn't dispute, Andy gets a round of applause, which he accepts as modestly as Andy can ever manage.

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The Office

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