The Office
The Alliance

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The Alliance

Credits. All I'm saying is that if you don't sing along, there is something wrong with you. But I'm not judging, really.

Dwight is pacing nervously outside the men's room when Michael emerges, and Michael's terrified startle makes it appear that having Dwight jump out at him unexpectedly is perhaps something Michael has bad dreams about. And what's on Dwight's mind this morning? The downsizing, and his expectation and hope that, as assistant regional manager, he'd be exempt. Michael, of course, points out the missing "to the," because if he doesn't, he'll just be a boring, mostly incompetent middle manager. Michael breaks the news that corporate has declined to promise to protect the sales staff if there is downsizing, but Michael claims there's not going to be any downsizing anyway. Dwight says, "Bottom line: do I need to be worried?" Michael shakes his head firmly, but says, "Mm-mm-mm-maybe." So now, we will see what happens when Dwight is worried.

In a TH, Michael insists that he doesn't enjoy letting anyone go, and hates the idea of telling anyone they're fired -- a statement that gives him the opportunity to do his Donald Trump impression, which sounds weirdly like a caricature of Ringo Starr in about 1965. He says an office can't function if people are sad, and if he had a catch phrase, it would be, "You're hired." Tricky!

Dwight? Well, Dwight has taken a turn since his days of endorsing downsizing wholeheartedly, and all of a sudden, he's weirdly nervous, tapping his leg under his desk and causing a row of bobbleheads to...bobble. Dwight THs that it's a disadvantage for him that people tend to gossip around the water cooler -- as Jim, Oscar, and Toby are doing -- because he brings his own bottled water, which he helpfully holds up for the camera, the better to make his point. Being the resourceful person that he is, Dwight soon has the water cooler next to his desk, where he tells an unhappy Stanley and Kevin it was put for "maintenance." They are totally buying that. "So...what do you guys hear? What's the scuttlebutt?" he asks. They look at each other.

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The Office




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