The Office

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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
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Michael explains that with the company being sold, an investment banker is coming to check out the branch. As said banker walks past the new red sports car in Michael's parking spot, Michael explains about all the "cosmetic tweaks" he's been making. Which he compares to the things like a push-up bra, makeup, and other things that have made Lady Gaga a star, along with numerous other drag queens. Edgy!

The banker enters the office, and before he's said more than "Hi" to Erin at Reception, a robotic voice intones, "Hello. Eric. Ward. Welcome. To Dunder Mifflin. I am Computron, your answer to everything." Of course it's just Dwight's voice, coming out of multiple speakerphones. Michael comes out of his office on a Segway (wearing a helmet, of course) to greet Eric and boast about his modern upgrades. He shows off by asking "Computron" what the world's largest ocean is. We hear Dwight repeat "calculating" long enough to Google it and come back with "Pacific!" Andy calls over to report that they're now the official paper supplier of the NFL. Michael introduces Pam, who waits through a tangent from Computron about the NFL before greeting Eric with an "Hola, bonjour, ni hao." Then she talking-heads that with Corporate in New York having been cleaned out, Michael is now the highest-ranking employee of Dunder Mifflin. "So that's where we are." Michael rolls over to say hello to Stanley. "Hi!" says a young, friendly guy who is so not Stanley. But of course he's there because of Michael, so he's still black. Pam THs, "Not on board with the fake Stanley. Although I get it." Eric tells Michael he just wants to visit the warehouse and talk to HR, but Michael wants to show him around and boast about the local seafood. Which turns into a pissing match with Computron.

We see Eric going through the warehouse with a clipboard as he explains about due diligence. "I'm a glorified fact-checker," he says before admitting that he's not even all that glorified.

Afterwards, Michael leads Eric through the kitchen (closing the door on Ryan's office as he goes) to introduce him to their HR rep, Toby Flenderson. "Have fun, you two," he says. "Oh, we will," Dwight says, smugly swiveling around in Toby's chair. Michael whispering-heads, "I left a copy of Best American Mystery Stories of 1999 in Toby's favorite stall, so yes, I think I bought us some time." Diabolical! And gross. Except Dwight is already insulting Eric, so that may not be a good thing. Toby returns, wanting to know what's going on. Dwight tries to get rid of him, but Toby persists, calling him Dwight. "You mean Dwight Schrute, the company's top salesman, and the creator of Computron. I wear many hats. And the one I'm wearing currently is that of gracious host. Welcome!" And then he bails.

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The Office

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