The Office
The Carpet

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The Carpet

In a pensive TH of his own from the conference room (where his desk stuff is piled willy-nilly on the credenza behind him), Michael speculates idly on the motivation for ruining his carpet. Love? Hate? Neutrality? Hatred of the cleaning lady (whom Michael now hates himself, because his office still stinks)? After an oddly-placed ad break, Michael has decided that it was an act of terrorism.

Michael gets a taste of the annoying behavior that Jim has to deal with all day, as Dwight tries to be the 107th caller to a radio station. But unlike Jim, Michael can order Dwight to stop, and forbid him from even picking up his phone again. Dwight claims to be making a sales call, and he turns away from Michael to whisper, "Am I the 107th caller?" Michael looks like he's wondering where Jim keeps his gun.

Jim is in purgatory; he can't visit Pam at Reception, because Roy's there, talking about their next vacation. And he can't go back to his temporary desk, because if he does, Kelly's going to give him an aneurysm. So he goes into the men's room for a nice, long crap. After all, Michael's new carpet hasn't been installed yet.

Michael gets grumpy about people's attitude, and decides to motivate everyone by offering "a crisp hundred-dollar bill" to the person with the most sales at the end of the day. Except it's only $83 in random bills. He starts to stick it up behind the Chamber of Commerce plaque, but reconsiders when he realizes Darryl and Roy will be walking right by that spot. Michael says he's taking over Jim's clients for the day, since Jim is disqualified for some reason. As always, Dwight is highly enthusiastic about his boss's latest scheme. "Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us!" he says excitedly.

Jim is about to go into the break room for lunch, but seeing Roy sharing a table with Pam, he decides to take his brown bag elsewhere.

Michael gets off the phone and goes into a lengthy and obnoxious victory dance over having just made a sale. When Roy and Darryl haul the befouled carpet out and take the wind out of Michael's sails in the process, Michael tells them how much they suck compared to the Extreme Home Makeover people. Instead of speaking up in her fiancé's defense, Pam later THs, "Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. Maybe that's all we need to know."

Roy and Darryl nap on the new, rolled-up carpet in Michael's office. Out in the bullpen, Michael gets irritated at Oscar's and Creed's jovial speculation about the culprit, and petulantly calls off the sales contest. Which probably means he was losing (not that we get confirmation of that outside of the deleted scenes). He says he's the victim of a hate crime, and can't resist invoking Stanley's name in support. "That's not what a hate crime is," Stanley rumbles. "Well, I hated it!" Michael bitches. He wants the culprit to step forward, and when nobody does, he puts the whole office on time-out. He doesn't even let Phyllis answer her ringing phone.

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The Office

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