He returns to the office, and without a word to anyone, heads back to the freezer I the kitchen and gets out the ice cream. "How do I feel about breaking up with Donna?" he VOs. "Good. Moral. I feel proud. Like a grown-up. That was not easy. Because I really liked her a lot." Enough to break up with her via text message, it turns out. "At the end of the day, we have to do what's right. And it was either living with myself or being happy. And I picked the l...former." Hey, I've made that mistake. Got e-mails about it, too. The latter/former thing, I mean.

In the tag, Michael comes out of the building and finds himself ambushed by a news crew from WBRE, the NBC affiliate for northeastern Pennsylvania. "Do you want to make a comment on the rumors?" the reporter asks, sticking a microphone in his face. Michael heaves a sigh, and starts to apologize abjectly. I can just see this ending up in 60 Minutes, but it's lucky for him in a perverse way that he concludes, "I vow to never listen to my bodily instincts, ever again." The reporter clarifies, "I'm talking about the Sabre printers that catch on fire." Michael's relieved that she's not asking what he thought she was. "Wait, what's going on?" he asks gormlessly. Yeah, I think we have a set-up for the finale next week.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter , or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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