Table read. Yes, "table read." Jim has arranged a reading in the conference room of Michael's screenplay, Threat Level Midnight. The usual players are involved, excluding Dwight and Angela. Jim announces that he'll read the "action descriptions." Dwight comes up and stands in the doorway. Jim tells Phyllis she'll be playing "Catherine Zeta-Jones." "That's the character's name?" Phyllis giggles. Dwight orders them all to stop messing around with Michael's script, but then Jim offers him the chance to play Michael Scarn. This, of course, is Dwight's dream come true.
Chili's. Michael clowns around with his tie. (Don't ask.) Christian laughs. Jan desperately tries to get the discussion back on track and discuss business. She starts talking about the service that DM can provide. Christian says it's all about money for him. When Jan asks about "the bottom line," Michael starts making nonsense sounds, and he THs that this is why he wanted them to have a signal. So he wouldn't be forced to do that. "Did somebody say 'baby back ribs'?" he asks Jan and Christian. He begins to sing the "baby back baby back baby back" song, and Christian happily joins in. Jan hates her life.
Jim reads a scene in which Michael Scarn fights off the advances of Catherine Zeta-Jones. Dwight THs that he has acted in his life. In fact, he was in Oklahoma! as "Mutie The Mailman," a part invented as a result of an oversupply of students. "I was good," he says happily. As...you know. Mutie. As Ryan tears into the role of "Samuel L. Chang," Scarn's partner, Pam jumps up to go see Roy, who's suddenly standing at the door. For once not allowing Roy to play fun-killer, she tells him she has to "work late." Roy is disbelieving, since he can sort of see what they're doing, but he does eventually leave. Thus do we get rid of Roy. In a TH, Kevin says, "Michael's movie? Two thumbs...down." And he does the big thumbs.
Michael and Christian loudly slurp ribs.
Jim appoints Oscar to play the villainous "Goldenface." As Dwight really throws himself into a speech in which Michael Scarn scolds Chang for being such a gross incompetent, he reads the line, "And you're disgusting, Dwig-t!" He's not sure what "Dwig-t" means. Pam explains in a TH that they figure Michael originally called the incompetent asshole "Dwight," and when he did the search and replace...well, you know. Typos and such. "And Dwight figured it out," she says. "Oops." In a TH, Dwight emphasizes the proper spelling of his name, dammit! He then announces that he's done with the table read, and that his uncle bought him some fireworks, so anyone who wants to see them can come outside. Jim takes the opportunity to call for a break and invite Pam to have something to eat with him.