In his room, surrounded by swag, Michael inter-mopes that he and Jim have "different definitions of friendship." He thinks it's "talking and being friends," whereas Jim thinks it's "moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh." Michael declares that he won't be speaking with Jim anymore: "Long-distance relationships never work." From offscreen, we hear a voice say, "That is so true." The camera widens out so we can see that the Hammermill guy is sitting on Michael's bed, fruity drink in hand, still waiting to deliver his pitch -- which, now that Michael's vented about Jim, Michael's ready to hear.

After commercials, Michael's met up with the rest of the Dunder Mifflites in the hotel lobby. He's changed into a peachy Hawaiian shirt (courtesy of Microsoft Office) and apologizes, saying that his Hammermill meeting ran late. "They're exclusive with Staples," says Josh. "Used to be," says Michael dismissively. "We can now sell Hammermill products." On the floor, Dwight raises his fist to celebrate Michael's triumph. Even Jan has to admit that she underestimated him, and Michael pouts, "Maybe next time you will estimate me." Jan looks as though she's not prepared to go that far.

Upstairs, Jim walks down a hall, proffering what he says is Dwight's room key. He lets himself into the room, smugly talking to the camera about old habits dying hard, when he gets a glimpse of a pair of naked lady's legs on the bed. "D?" calls Angela. Jim scrambles to close the door before he sees anything more scandalous, and hurries down the hall, marveling, "Oh my God! Dwight got a hooker! Oh my God, I gotta call--" Jim says that he has to call somebody, but doesn't know whom. Oh, Jim, sure you do. You need to call TOBY.

Restaurant. Kelly awkwardly feeds Ryan as she tells Alan that Pam is "obsessed" with his cartoons. Kelly and Ryan bicker in their usual way (he's annoyed, she's oblivious), and Pam asks Alan how he comes up with his cartoons. Alan says he thinks about stuff that he sees, "or dream[s] them." Pam says that dreaming in cartoons sounds like fun. Ryan chews the french fries Kelly's shoved in his face and thinks about an exit strategy.