After commercials, Michael is waving at the camera from the floor of the trade show. And then he's showing off all his dumb convention swag, saying that he decorated his condo with all his stuff from past conventions. Ah, I think I've been to that place. And drunk out of those Windows MCSE mugs. Michael and Dwight introduce themselves to Jerome Bettis, who's signing autographs. Michael, with his usual complete lack of embarrassment, invites Bettis to come back to his room later for a party. Bettis politely lies that he'll try to make it, and Michael sinks his teeth in, asking if he can tell people that Jerome will be there. Bettis: "No. You cannot." Michael takes that as a maybe and takes off in order not to overclose. Then Dwight takes Michael's picture with a guy in a big plush Blackberry suit. Michael: "Do you remember me? From last year?" Ha! I love that Michael thinks this person is a full-time Blackberry impersonator and, like, goes on the road with his act. Anyway, Michael invites the contents of the Blackberry to his party. Gee, if this guy doesn't show up, I hope they know a way they can get in touch with him....
Elsewhere, Josh checks his (regular-sized) Blackberry and tells Jim, Dwight, and Michael that Jan wants them to meet her up front. Michael quickly pulls out his phone, all, "Yep! Yeah, she's up front." Dwight blows Michael's spot, saying that he doesn't have email on his phone. Still looking at his phone, Michael stammers that he doesn't have to get email on his phone: "I just know." In order to make it less awkward to have everyone staring at him, Michael pretends to get a phone call. Dwight: "No one just called you!" The rest of the knot of Dunder Mifflites breaks up, and Michael calls Dwight aside to get him to "dig up some dirt on Josh." Dwight's going to talk to his "buddy down at the station." Yes, I'm sure a guy in a Scranton police department totally has the hookup on a paper salesman from Connecticut. Google? Anyone?
Scranton. Toby has taken some time to screw up his courage again and approaches Pam at her desk. He's in the middle of a sentence -- "I was just going to ask if you wanted" -- when Pam's phone rings. In the time it takes her to write down a message, Toby loses his nerve, acts like he forgot what he was going to say, and slinks off to hate himself.
Philadelphia. At what looks like a lunch banquet, Dwight finds Michael and tells him that he called his cop friend to run a background check on Josh. Michael: "And?" Dwight: "He wasn't volunteering today." Michael groans and moves away, making a mental note to get some better henchmen.