Michael has called an all-office meeting, this one about the widespread discussions about prison being better than the office. Because Michael can never let anything just blow over if he can find a way to make it worse. He says that Martin has gotten away with it because none of the rest of them have been to prison. And so Michael introduces them to someone who has: Prison Mike. Prison Mike, is of course, Michael with a purple bandanna knotted on his head and what he thinks is a "street" patois. Angela asks if they're supposed to believe this, and Prison Mike demands, "Do you really expect me to not push you against the wall, beeyotch?" There's a full-room "Whoa" at that. Prison Mike warns them all about being someone's bitch in prison, singling out Ryan as "da belle of da ball" and making kissing noises at him. Jim asks, "Where did you learn all of this?" Which gets Michael to actually break character for a moment and say, "Internet...and prison. 50/50." Jim's next question is what Prison Mike did to land in jail. "I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the president's son and held him for ransom...and I never got caught, neither." Jim remarks that he was in prison, but...mm hmm. Even Michael's fictional characters can't avoid being boastful. Pam asks Prison Mike what the food was like, and he goes on about gruel. "Wow, prison sounds horrible," Andy sucks up. Dwight asks the worst thing about prison. Well, as we all know, the very worst thing is the Dementors. Apparently the line in Michael's head between Alcatraz and Azkaban has become a bit blurred. Like all the rest of the lines in there. Prison Mike wraps things up with a tirade about how great their lives really are. Finally he drops the act (and the bandanna) and asks, "[Prison] doesn't sound so great, does it?" Pam prods that it must have been hard to relive. "Both of you," she says to Michael and Martin. Which is too bad, because that prods Martin to speak up and say that Michael's performance didn't remind him of his time in prison at all. So Michael gives up and leaves the conference room, locking them in. "If you think prison is so wonderful, then enjoy prison!" he yells through the door. As everyone mills behind the door, asking to be let out, Michael angrily and petulantly and bitchily tells us what babies his employees are.