The Office
The Convict

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The Convict

Hannah's brought her baby into the office and gets kind of pissy with Pam for thinking he's a girl and not a boy whose favorite color is pink. But that's nothing compared to Michael's reaction to the tot, which is to hide under her desk and launch into a Look Who's Talking bit that fortunately clears the area before he can get too far into the "I'm thirsty" part of the routine.

Jim THs that he's seeing Karen, but he wants to keep it on the QT for now, just so as not to affect the way "people" behave around them. Which means he doesn't notice the extremely alert way that Pam watches them when they meet at the copier.

Michael's on the phone with Jan in the conference room, because Kevin and Angela -- also present -- are curious about a rebate check that came in. Jan calmly says that it's for hiring an ex-convict. Michael denies doing any such thing. "Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist." Pam is also in there, all but lip-syncing Jan's annoyed huff heard over the speakerphone. Based on the timing, Jan figures (and approves of the fact) that Josh must have hired the convict in question. "Which one of the new employees is a criminal?" Angela demands. Jan corrects Angela's terminology, and puts them on hold so she can check. And also so our people can have a minute to speculate on who it is. Hannah, with the baby? Andy? Kevin mentions Martin, and Michael calls Kevin a racist. "Because you think he's black," he whispers. Which is strange, because Michael has spent his entire existence assuming he knows everything about Stanley based on Stanley's skin color. Apparently this episode was written by a couple of guys named Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, and what do they know about The Office anyway? And when is Merchant going to make another movie with Ivory already? ["My guess is...uh, not soon." -- Joe R] Jan comes back on the line and says that it is indeed Martin.

And Michael THs about the offensive stereotype. Why couldn't Josh have hired "a white guy who went to prison for polluting a black guy's lake?" he wonders. Back in the conference room, with Jan off the phone, Michael desperately speculates about scenarios in which Martin went to prison for something completely innocuous, and instructs everyone to forget about it. Kevin and Pam's super-conditioned hair are on board with the plan. As for Angela? "Let's protect the convicts, at the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a ninety pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally, I agree with that." Good enough for everyone else.

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