Dwight comes to Michael's doorway, and awkwardly lies that he's going to the dentist for an emergency crown, and may not be back for a few hours. Michael could not be less concerned about the nuances of Dwight's story, and before Dwight can keep embroidering more (un)convincing details, like that he might be even longer because he has to get to the dentist via pennyfarthing, he slinks off.

After commercials, Dwight's found Jan in the outlet store parking lot. Despite his nosy inquiries, details of her purchases remain guarded from him -- at least, until he gets one of his buddies at the sheriff's department to run a check on her MasterCard.

In a diner, Dwight declares that he could save the branch if Jan will let him run it. Jan: "Okay." Dwight: "'Okay,' I can run it?" Jan impatiently asks him what he would do. Dwight says that he would eliminate waste -- which he describes as half the people who work there. The waitress drops off several dishes of fluffy starch -- all delicious-looking, and all for Dwight; he proceeds to pour like a pint of syrup all over everything. Jan pointedly says that Dwight must feel very strongly about what he's telling her, to turn on Michael and his co-workers that way. Dwight admits that the decision to turn on Michael was difficult, but that once he did it, he "didn't look back." As for his co-workers, they can suck it, apparently. He concludes by saying that he wants the branch, and awaits her decision, and then he sets upon his plate of pancakes like a dingo on a baby. It's a pretty horrifying display. I'm not saying it's worse than Claire Bennet performing an unanesthetized toe-ectomy with a pair of pinking shears? But it's maybe as bad. Dwight pauses in his flapjack massacre to tell Jan about a new Ann Taylor outlet store. Jan makes a note.

Back at the branch, Michael gets a call from Jan, telling him all about Dwight and ordering him to get his shit under control so that she doesn't have to spend any more of her afternoons getting coated in pancake mist. (I paraphrase.) Michael interviews that he can't imagine what Dwight was thinking, to try to turn Jan against him: "She's my ex-lover. Ish." Yeah, "ish" doesn't quite cover it.