The Office
The Coup

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The Coup

In the bullpen, Jan looks around for signs of human life. Angela materializes from somewhere and pointedly clears her throat, pointing at the conference room.

Jan opens the door to the conference room and busts Michael, who's totally unconcerned and guiltless under her gaze: "Hope you brought the Milk Duds!" Nah, those are still a few months off.

Cut to Jan, laying into Michael in his office, demanding to know how the movie could possibly increase productivity. Michael sheepishly admits that people work faster afterward because they have to make up the time they lost watching the movie. Jan: "No." But they were going to watch Rules Of Attraction next!

Angela calls Dwight to the kitchen, where she hisses at his back that Michael's going to get them all fired. Dwight says that won't happen. Angela plaintively says that Jan has it in for Michael now, and Dwight says that's not Michael's fault. He then interviews that Jan's animosity is all about Michael's having chosen Carole over Jan: "Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms." Note that Dwight isn't testing out his "weak arms" theory on Jan in this moment. Back in the kitchen, Angela tells Dwight that he should be running the office. This clearly strikes a chord in Dwight, who takes about half an hour to say that Michael would never let him. Angela says it's Jan's call, and that he should talk to her. Dwight says he couldn't, and Angela passive-aggresses that he should just let them all get fired instead, before stomping out of the room and leaving Dwight to ponder his own basest, most secret desires.

Angela interviews that she knows patience and loyalty are virtues, but that sometimes you just have to grow a pair. Why should Dwight do that, though, when Angela's got pairs to spare?

Stamford. Jim interviews that Call Of Duty is a big deal at the branch; everyone plays. Unfortunately, Jim sucks at it. He says they weren't so much into videogames in Scranton -- he and Pam were more likely to hum the same high-pitched note to try to make Dwight call an ear doctor. Pam called it Pretendonitis. He smiles wistfully at his recollection of this wholesome, analog fun.

Speaking of Pam: while signing for a package, she calls Kelly to say her stuff just came; immediately, she has to pull the phone away from her ear because Kelly is squealing at a deafening pitch and probably having a shopgasm back there in her cube. Pam then interviews that Kelly is a huge fan of online shopping (hope you were sitting down for that shocking character detail), and that Pam thought it might be time for her to get some new clothes. No, that time was 1994.

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