After the break, we're back at the deposition, where the stenographer is reading back an exchange where Michael repeatedly asks to go to the bathroom in order to get out of answering a tough question. He is ultimately denied.
Scranton. Jim's just dispatched Meredith in the Room of Pong when Dwight storms in and demands to know what's going on. Jim lies that one of their biggest clients is a pong enthusiast, and Jim needs to improve his game in order to keep the account. Dwight's crazy, vindictive, and superior, but he's also a great salesman, so he agrees to help train Jim. Cut to Jim versus Dwight, and guess who else is a ball-smasher? Dwight slams a shot home and is all, "Told you." He interviews that all his greatest heroes are pong masters, and he rattles off a long list of obscure people with unpronounceable names.
Deposition. Michael is coming clean about his two-year, on-again off-again relationship with Jan. He says he knows this destroys her case, but he throws himself on the mercy of the deposition. Diane is satisfied, but Jan's lawyer has an entry from Michael's personal journal to read. Michael didn't know this was coming, and he's freaked that his "diary" is about to be read aloud. I love that the lawyer did him the favor of calling it a "journal" and Michael still called it his "diary." The entry is from last January, after the Jamaica trip, and it's kind of funny with the "Oh, diary, what a week! I had sex with my boss!" breathlessness, but it's mostly sad because it talks about how Jan called their coupling a "one-time mistake." This is supposed to be evidence that there wasn't a relationship relationship going on, but it mostly makes Michael look like a chump, and even worse is that he knows it. It's excruciating to watch, even though I'm cheered somewhat by the fact that Michael signs off with "XOXO," which makes me more positive than ever that he'd totally love Gossip Girl. Diane wants a copy of the diary for discovery purposes, and the mediator says they'll make ten copies, eleven once Toby requests one as well. Oh, the indignity of being Michael Scott.
At the cafeteria, Michael looks around as everyone pages through his journal, and since he's ruined Jan's case, he's forced to go sit with Toby, of all people. Toby's also reading the diary, but he's nice enough to stop once Michael sits down. Toby tries to make Michael feel better by relating a story about being asked to testify during his parents' divorce proceedings, but Michael can only take so much in a given day and having his life compared to Toby's is one too far, so he reaches out and pushes Toby's lunch tray off the end of the table and walks away, exactly like Simon from Frisky Dingo. Oh, Michael. We can't ever go back to Arizona!