Michael presents the "Spicy Curry" award to Kelly Kapoor. That's the whole joke. "What's that mean?" she asks. And asks, and asks, to the point where it comes back around to funny. The statue is also in the shape of a bowler, and not a businessman, because they ran out of businessman statuettes, and it goes on and on and finally ends on Michael just shaking his head: "Just sit down, Kelly." Funny, but single-layer funny. "Try my googi-googi" icky-funny; not Wizard Of Oz/Bend It Like Beckham funny. She wrote the episode, she gets a pass.

Michael sweats and chugs bottled water, swearing to us that he now knows "what Bob Hope was going through when he performed in Saudi Arabia." I don't...I plead the Levinson-Gould on that one. Michael tries to give us some kind of effed-up speech about the suckitude of Dwight, who's being kind of awesome this episode, but then Dwight starts the next music cue early, so Michael bitches about that and then runs back out "onstage" and...starts singing "Tiny Dancer." Which normally would earn a whole lot of shit-talking from yours truly, but the end of the episode kind of makes that impossible, so never mind. "You have won a tiny Dundie..."

A group of wignecks at the bar are all, "Sing it, Elton!" -- which, not for nothing, but that's ten times gayer than actually singing an Elton John song, girlfriend -- and Michael tries his level, usual, desperate best to be friends with them: "Hey, thanks, guys! Hey, where you guys from?" Predictably, they just came from Michael's mama's house*.

Meanwhile, Pam totally snakes Terri (Mrs. Stanley)'s drink. The guys get not very creative and tell Michael to sing some songs, which he was already doing, and telling him to do it doesn't make it more embarrassing, because there's no such thing as "more embarrassing" right now.

(*I don't think they were actually at his mama's house, but I do know she lives in Dickson City, which is a suburb of Scranton, so I guess it's possible, depending on Mrs. Scott's level of what we used to call "womanly virtue." Or how long you're willing to drive, if you're the kind of person whose regular bar of choice is Chili's.)

Michael begs them to fuck off, because it's an office party, and they totally start throwing shit. Like actual bottles and garbage. Not cool! Please don't throw garbage at Michael! Jim takes offense, as he always does when Michael's truly threatened, but for once he doesn't actually dive in right away. I think he would have, right then, except Michael scoops him and backs down for once, because he doesn't know what else to do. He signals Dwight to cut the music, and smoothes ahead. But too quietly, too unenthusiastically, to be believable: "I had a few more Dundies to give out tonight, but I'm just going to cut it short, and wrap it up, so everybody can enjoy their food. Um, thanks for listening, those who listened." Oh, Michael. "This last Dundie is for Kevin, this is the ‘Don't Go in There After Me' award, it's for the time that I went into the bathroom after him, and it was really, really smelly, so..." he drops the mic, and walks over to Kevin's table to hand him the award. "There you go," he practically whispers. Everybody gets bummed out.