At the bar, Jim runs tonight down, speaking to the camera with Pam to his left, staring at him, drunk. "Got to see Ping," he says, and she nods. In the background, awesomely, Michael is singing "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life." (If you really wanted to impress me, you could make that work at the end of the episode. That's a challenge.)
Jim continues: "And we learned of Michael's true feelings for Ryan. Which was touching." Pam again nods. "And we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. Which, for me, has ruined them for life." He turns to Pam, who's still nodding, and hasn't looked away the entire time. "What?" he asks. "Nothing," she says wildly. He looks at us. "Okay." She giggles: "What?" And he tries. "I don't know, what?" And she laughs, and takes the out, and falls off the stool, onto the floor.
"Oh my God!" Jim shouts. "You are so drunk!" (The unspoken "Therefore neither of us are responsible for your behavior!" is, well, unspoken. And deliberate. And collaborative.) He begs us to confirm that the cameras caught her fall; all you can really hear is her hysterical, whooping laughter. (There's a nice nod to the unspoken conceit that, at some point, this footage will air, somewhere, sometime: "This will all be on?")
Dwight drops everything and rushes over from his turntables: "Quick, quick! This woman is having a seizure! Grab her tongue, grab her tongue!" (Once again: Chili's didn't want her puking, so she's having a seizure. It's funnier and less unsavory this way, anyhow.) Dwight tells the people nearby that he's "a Sheriff's Deputy," Jim automatically corrects him ("volunteer") and Dwight points out that it's actually not relevant.
And Michael sings. Kevin overhears Dwight, getting kind of foamy, begging for "something to cushion her head"; he stands up for a better look. Pam continues to laugh. It's rarely a Jim Laugh when you're this drunk, and you can't stop. If she stops, what happens? She can't find out; she keeps laughing. She's laughed herself into a corner. Jim asks Dwight to chill, but Dwight resolves to use his shirt as a cushion and immediately gets stuck in it. Pam pulls it together enough to yell at Dwight to get the hell off her; a Chili's employee arrives and tells Dwight to put the shirt back on. "People are trying to eat," he says apologetically; Dwight struggles and shouts inside his shirt.
Later, Dwight and Ryan are loading up all of Michael's props as he lectures us: "Was this year's Dundies a success? Well, let's see. I made Pam laugh so hard that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck. So I killed. Almost."